A Place Where You Love Me
by vampiregirlxx
Summary: "Rose..." he says, moving in.  "Please, don't come any closer."   "Roza...please, don't do this to us."  "Us? But...I don't even know you..."   That's definitely pain I see in his eyes. But why? Do we know each other from somewhere...?  *Full sum inside*
1. Chapter 1: Shattered

**Full Summary**

**When Dimitri said Love Fades, Mine has. He left Rose broken. Refusing to let anyone see her in this state, she left St. Vladimir. But even when she's no longer in Dimitri's presence, she just can't seem to get over the pain in her chest. She still yearns for him...still remembers every single touch and how sparks seem to fly whenever he's near...that is until an idea hits her, she doesn't have to remember. Rose sets off to Russia, with the hope of getting Oksana to remove her memory of the man who hurt her... What if Oksana refuse? What will Rose do? And most importantly, what will happen when Dimitri finally follow his heart and come after her...only to find that the love of his life can't even remember his name. Will he give up? When he knows that somewhere deep in her brown eyes, his Roza is still there. That somewhere, she still loves him. Find out now in my latest fanfic, A Place Where You Love Me.**

**Hey guys! It's me again! So an idea kinda hit me a few days ago. I just can't stop thinking about it so I finally decided to write a fanfic based on that idea :) That's how this fanfiction was born! The first chapter is a little bit short, just to see if you guys might be interested in reading and would like for me to continue. The plot is already developed so read this chapter and let me know what you think! :) **

**Happy Readings!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Vampire Academy. Richelle Mead does.**

**Chapter 1**

**Shattered**

Why do people go to church? I asked myself.

To find peace, to feel closer to God? To purify their souls?

Well, if those are all the reasons then I should probably leave right now.

I'm not here to find peace.

I'm not here so I could feel closer to God.

And I'm definitely not here to _purify my soul_. My soul is fine as it is, thank you very much.

Why am I here, then? You'd probably ask.

Well, sitting alone a few pews down from me, is the man I love, I yearn for.

Dimitri.

Knowing the situation, I know he's not really alone. The guardians – as silly as it sounds - are probably lurking in the corners, preparing for an attack incase Dimitri's strigoi side took over.

Yeah, ridiculous.

But apparently the guardians aren't alone in this.

Dimitri agrees with them.

He didn't seem to mind having them trailing after him 24/7. He refused to take risks and put anyone around him in danger. He cares too much, a trait that is so un-strigoi like.

He cares for everyone...everyone besides me, apparently. Since being restored back, he wouldn't even look at me. It's so frustrating! But I thought maybe he needed some time. It couldn't have been easy for him. So I gave him time. That was why for the last few weeks, I didn't push him when he told me he didn't want to talk...or even see me.

Yeah, it hurts like hell, especially the last part. But being a passionate and understanding kind of girlfriend I am, I let it go.

Now that two whole weeks have passed, it's time I act again. If he needed some time to get over it then, he should be more than over it by now.

So here I am, watching him. In his god-like glamour, and under the lights of the candles, he looks so calm...so at peace.

There's nothing I'd like more than to run into his arms right now. But afraid that his arms won't be there to catch me, I decided to take it slow. One step at a time.

That being decided, I quietly make my way down the aisle, making sure not to disturb anyone trying to _purify their souls._

I plopped down next to Dimitri, making him jumped a little.

"So..." I started, feeling a little bit awkward.

He turned around to look at me before turning away quickly, his guardian mask on full force.

"Dimitri." I tried again, even though my voice sounded hard, there's something that sounded like...desperation in there too.

At first I didn't think he was going to reply, thank god he did.

"What do you want, Rose?"

Rose. He called me Rose, not Roza. But that's not the only thing.

"What?" I asked before I could stop myself.

Dimitri just stares at me.

Damn that guardian mask of his! I can't even guess what he's feeling underneath.

"Why are you doing this to me, Dimitri?" I shout at him.

Before he could reply, a guy from the pew in front of us turned around and glared for me to shut up.

"Look, I know it's tough for you after all you've been through...I understand, okay? But please, Dimitri, don't push me away. Let me in so I can help you." I said, lowering my voice into a whisper.

Dimitri tensed and I can see that his guardian mask is slipping a little.

Perfect.

Slowly, I lift my hand and place it on his arm. Anyone around would have thought he was shocked by electricity by the way he jerked away from me so fast.

My eyes started to sting just then and I realized it was tears threatening to fall. I quickly blink them away. There's no damn way I'm going to cry. Just no.

"I cannot believe you! I went to the end of the Earth for you! Found a way to turn you back even when everyone said it was impossible! And _this_ is how you thank me. So this is it then, Dimitri? This is how it's going to be for us from now on?" I demand, my voice raising up once again.

It took him about two minutes before he came up with a reply. A very shitty one, if I must say. "Roza, I know what you did for me. I haven't forgotten. And I thank you for that. I will find a way to repay you, you know that...but...there is no 'us' there has never been. It was stupid of me to led you on like that and for that I am sorry."

I blinked, slowly processing what he's just said. "Bullshit! That bullshit, Dimitri! It's pathetic! Especially coming from you!" I screamed at his face. Then I noticed the guardians coming out of their hidings from the corner of my eyes. They think Dimitri is causing a trouble. I have to act fast.

Taking a deep breath to calm myself down before I speak again, "You listen to me Dimitri Belikov. I know you are hurt. I know it's difficult for you and you think your actions as a strigoi is somehow your fault. But Dimitri, it's not! You weren't _you_. And I know with every bones in my body that if the situation is reversed, and _I_ was the one who was turned, you'd be saying the _exact_ same thing to me." I let it all out in one breath.

Dimitri looked as if he want to say something but I cut in, "Don't. Don't even try to deny it."

"Stop. Don't do this, Roza. You know I can't..." he sounded almost desperate, it only pissed me more.

"No, YOU stop, Dimitri! Are you even listening to me? I knew – _we_ knew - this wasn't going to be easy! But we both agreed that our love is too strong to be ignored. What we have...it's worth fighting for. I still believe that, Dimitri. Because of what happened, you might not see it yet but soon, you will! I haven't given up, Dimitri. I would _never_ give up on us." I hate myself for sounding so desperate. But it had to be said. And let's face it, I'm pretty desperate.

"Roza..." he started, "I have already given up..."

No. No, he doesn't get to do this so easily. "No. When two people love each other the way we do, they would never give up. Never, Dimitri! And I know you love me!"

Who would have thought that someone with such a beautiful face could say something that...deadly. What he said next froze me to the core of my heart.

"Roza...love fades, mine has." he said those words so lightly, so calm, like it's effortless. And that did it.

All the tears of sadness, grief, lost, pain, torture, anger, desperation, frustration, hope, joy and back to sadness all over again. All those tears that had threatened to fall since the moment Dimitri was taken away from me, are a second away from falling now. All those awful things he had said to me, done to me, as a strigoi. Those things were _nothing_ compared to those four words that just left his mouth. He had never put it that way before. Even in a terrible situation, deep down I still know he loved me. But now that he said those words. That he had given up on me, that he no longer love me...it just...it hurts too much.

He must have noticed the change in my emotion, the pain that reflected in my eyes...and maybe he even heard the sound of my heart breaking, shattering into shards because his guardian mask suddenly slipped. That may even be pain in his eyes. But I didn't wait to find out, because if I did, everyone in the church would have seen me cry.

And Rose Hathaway doesn't cry.

Avoiding Dimitri's eyes, I ran out of the church. Passed Dimitri, passed the staring crowd and passed the guardians.

And never once did I look back.

**Okay so the first chapter is not that good, I have to admit. Same old plot. But that's how this story begins! The similarities end right here :) If you would like for me to continue or if you have any suggestions, please let me know in the review area! **

**Thank you for reading!**

**xx Prim**


	2. Chapter 2: Escaped

**So guys! Thank you so much for all your reviews! Because of that, I decided to upload another chapter early :) It's a little short because I'm actually working on my school project, but I decided to write this chapter as a treat for you all...besides, it's better than nothing, right? **

**Alright then, I hope you enjoy! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Vampire Academy. Only the plot and some new characters.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 2<strong>

**Escaped**

I was panting hard by the time I arrived at my destination.

My room.

I threw the door open and swung it shut, hard. It probably sent vibration all the way through the girl's dorm.

As soon as the closed, I broke down. I know it makes me look weak but I can't help it. After all these times trying to be strong when inside I'm dying, I just have to let it all out.

Dimitri, Dimitri, Dimitri...his name keeps echoing in my head, as if saying it repeatedly would somehow bring him back to me.

No, he would never come back. I've brought him back once but there would be no second time.

That realization brought such a great deal of sadness to me. I just can't believe how the person who could make me the happiest girl on earth can also hurt me so bad it's unimaginable.

I don't know how many seconds, minutes or days had passed, but I know that every single moment of it was an agony. The grief is killing me inside out.

Someone knocked my door a few times but I made no attempt to move and open it.

I just wish I could stay holed up in my room alone forever...

Another knock sounded from the door.

Nothing. I just stay curled on my bed, unmoved.

"Rose! Open the damn door!" said a voice that belongs to no other than Adrian Ivashkov.

"Go away, Adrian! I'm not in the mood!" I shouted.

He was silent for a minute before BAM! My door flew open, almost felling out of the hinge.

Adrian stood there, a fire extinguisher in his hands, looking very cocky and proud.

"ADRIAN IVASHKOV! You DID NOT just destroy my door!" I screamed at him in horror, getting up.

He just shrugged, "Well...I _did_ knock."

My mouth must have fallen open, "I don't believe you!"

Adrian held out his hands, "Whoa there, calm down, little dhampir. It's still in one piece, isn't it?"

I stared at him, "So what? One piece is considered a success?"

He gave me a sheepish grin and all I could do was shook my head at him. "What do you want, Adrian?" I gave up, suddenly exhausted.

His face turned serious, which I have to say, is very rare. "I heard..." he trailed off, as if not sure if he should continue.

I breath in a long, deep breath, "Jeez, news really does travel fast around here."

Adrian frowned, "Rose...I'm really sorry. I know this is so cheesy but it's his loss, seriously. You are the most amazing person on earth and that bastard doesn't even realize how lucky he is!"

"The worst part...is there's not even an explanation! It's like before everything is perfect and the next day, BAM! it's over. Just like that!" I sigh, "Doesn't he even know how much it hurts me? I would do anything for him! I even brought him back to life and this is what I get?" I let out in frustration.

Adrian put both his hands on my shoulders, "I can kick his ass for you, you know."

I let out a short laugh, "No, you can't."

Adrian pretended to put his hand over his heart, "Ouch! You crushed my ego, Rose! Into little pieces!"

We both laugh for a while.

Finally, I said, "What am I gonna do now?"

He fell silent, thinking hard before answering, "You are going to act like nothing happened. You are not going to give him any kind of satisfaction, okay?"

"I wish I could do that...but Adrian, I don't think I can even handle being in the same room with him!" I said, exasperated.

"Rose...I hate seeing you hurt like this! I mean when was the last time you looked in the mirror?" he frowned at me.

"Yeah, yeah I know I look like a cat that was just hit by a car." I wave him off.

Adrian raised his eyebrow, "No, Rose, you look like a cat that was just hit by a goddamn _truck_!"

Now it was my turn to raised my eyebrow, "Gee, thanks a lot, Ivashkov. That's just what I needed! To be told I look like a piece of dead meat!" I exclaimed, but to be honest, his strange way of cheering me up is actually working.

Adrian bowed, "My pleasure."

I slap him across his chest.

"Oww! What the hell was that for?" he pout.

"You really wanna know?" I look at him meaningfully.

"No, not really." he said quickly.

Suddenly, I was pulled into Lissa's head. Damn it! Right now? I don't really have time for anymore serious stuffs. My own problem is enough to last me three lifetimes.

She was in Dimitri's room for whatever reason I didn't even want to know.

She was sitting on the couch while Dimitri was pacing around his room.

"So, are you going to tell me what happened with you and Rose?" Lissa asked.

Dimitri went still, "you heard..."

Lissa nods, "of course I did."

Dimitri inhale before replying, "Princess, you have to know that I never wanted to hurt Rose...but—"

"It's okay, Dimitri. I don't blame you. I know you've been through a lot and you probably need time to recover. If Rose doesn't understand then maybe she more selfish than I thought." Lissa cut in.

Dimitri shook his head, "it's not because I don't...care...about, Rose. I do...but we're just not right for each other—"

"Rose! Rose! You in there?" said a different voice.

Adrian.

I blink, I'm back in my dorm room.

"Hey, you okay?" his eyes filled with concern.

I blink again, "No. No, Adrian, I'm not okay. Not just Dimitri seems to think we're not right for each other...but Lissa doesn't either. How could she? That selfish bitch!"

I'm so mad at both of them right now I can't even think straight. What I said next seemed to have surprised both of us,

"I want to leave the academy, Adrian. I don't want to stay anymore."

It took Adrian a minute or two to come up with a reply, "Where would you rather be, Rose? This is your home! Don't let one guy ruined it."

"How can I stay? The memories...everything, it's just too much! I have nothing left to stay for, Adrian! I lost Dimitri and Lissa doesn't seem to care about me anymore! Instead of being here to check up on me, she's siding with him behind my back! What kind of friend does that?" I cried.

Adrian wraps his arms around me, "Shh...I know you are hurting, little dhampir. For that I am so sorry. But you know you'd always have me! Isn't that enough to make you stay? And you're upset, you're not thinking straight. You should get some rest and we'll talk in the morning, figure things out together, okay?" he said soothingly.

There's no point arguing with Adrian, I thought. So I just nod.

"You know, I'm glad you're here, Adrian." I said in the end.

He grinned, "Well, at last you said it! It couldn't saved your...door from a lot of trouble, you know." he gave me a wink.

I rolled my eyes, "The Adrian I know is back."

His grin widened, "Oh you know you love me, Rose."

I groan. "Well, you're right about one thing though. I'm tired. So, I'd like to go to sleep now. I will see you later."

Adrian stood up, still smiling. "I'm always right, little dhampir. I'll see you in the morning." then he left.

Soon after that I'm curled under the sheet of my bed, trying to hard to fall asleep.

But I can't, because something is bugging me. Something big. I think hard, trying to figure out what it is…

Then I remember. Earlier when I told Adrian about leaving… yeah I know it's probably not the best solution and it would make me look like a coward who likes to run away from all her problems. But who cares? Staying here would mean seeing Dimitri everyday and not being able to touch him, to hold him like before. I honestly couldn't think of anything more painful than that.

But where should I go? A place where Dimitri couldn't hurt me anymore…a place where I won't be reminded of him…

After trying to answer that question for about fifteen minutes, I gave up.

I know that no matter where I go, how many miles of distance I put between us, I wouldn't be able to forget Dimitri. Because while the 'real' Dimitri will be here at St. Vladimir in Montana, the _Dimitri _I know, and love…will always be with me in my head, my heart…my memories…I'd always remember him as the amazing Russian god who made my knees weak every time, who once loved and wanted me as much as I love and want him…I'd always remember _that_ Dimitri.

"Unless of course I have my memories ripped away from me." I snorted, not being serious.

I blink, really hearing myself this time. Of course! How could I not think of that earlier?

I thought back to the time when I was in Baia, visiting Oksana and she said something about Spirit users being able to compel someone to forget something for a period of time. A powerful one, however, can make it permanent.

Wouldn't that be awesome? Not having to remember him anymore? No more pain…no more hurting…yeah, that does sound like a good plan. Since there's no way he will ever love me again, why not give myself another chance of a new life? It's not the best plan, but it's the best I could come up at the moment. And it's a great start.

With that, I hopped out of bed and started packing my bags. If I'm leaving then I might as well do it now. I look at the clock, 11:27pm. Perfect timing, everyone should be in their dorms, getting ready to sleep. And besides, I didn't want to give myself a chance to change my mind.

No, I can't allow that to happen. I don't know how much longer I can take it. Being in this state made me look weak, and there's nothing I hate more than looking weak. The last impression they're going to have of me is a strong and fearless Rose Hathaway.

I wrote a quick note for my mom, Lissa and Adrian…oh Adrian! I'm such an awful person, doing this to him. He doesn't deserve it. But then again, he didn't deserve any of the crap I've given him in the past. Who knows, maybe me leaving would be better for both of us. Maybe if I'm no longer here, it'd give him the chance of moving on and finding someone who deserves his love— enough. There's nothing more I could do about that. The decision has been made. And I pray to god that it is the right thing to do,

I stole one last look at my room, the room I've grown up in. The room where so much memories are held. Squeezing my eyes shut, as if trying to get rid of all the voices in my head that is telling me to stay, I opened the door and slipped out quietly. The only noise that can be heard was the sound of the lock clicking.

* * *

><p><strong>There you go! Chapter 2 for you awesome readers! I promise next chapter will be longer, and the fun will begin when Dimitri and Adrian finally found out that Rose is gone! :O What will happen? Stay tuned for the next chapter! :)<strong>

**Thanks for reading and let me know what you think by leaving a REVIEW!**

**Prim**


	3. Chapter 3: Alone

**Wow guys! Thank you for all the reviews! I honestly wasn't expecting much when I started! :) So, thank you! I'm sorry I couldn't updated sooner but here it is! I hope it's worth the wait :) **

**I made this chapter in many characters' POV because I want you all to thoroughly understand what each of them are feeling, I hope that's okay!**

**Thank you again and I hope you enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Vampire Academy. Only the plots and some characters.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 3<strong>

**Alone**

****Dimitri's POV****

A rain drop landed on the tip of my nose. I didn't wipe it away nor did I run for cover. Unlike most people, I actually do love the rain. From the sound of it to the certain mood that seems to come with the it every time.

Today, the rain only seemed to add sadness and guilt to my mood. As if the sky was crying. Crying _for me._

It's six in the morning and the guilt was still bugging me. Every since yesterday afternoon in the church. After Roza left – no, after she _ran_ away from me – I was so mad at myself and what I've done to her. I wish I could take it all back and just gather her up in my arms like I've wanted to do all along. But I can't. After everything I've done to her as a strigoi! I know she said it's not my fault and that I wasn't me, I get that. If I were in her shoes, I'd be saying exactly the same thing. But looking at all of this from _my_ point of view, it's just...different. I still remember every single moment of it like it was yesterday. From the moment she found me and that the first thought that entered my mind was that I had to make her mine, to the time I held her in my arms, my fangs sinking into her neck, sucking the life out of her. And the worst part? I enjoyed it. I fucking enjoyed sucking the life out of the woman I love the most. How could I ever be forgiven for something like that? I know Roza said she forgave me...that's not the problem. It's me. I couldn't – I didn't know how to forgive myself. I didn't even have any idea where to start.

I took a deep breath, I did the right thing, maybe by doing that it'd give her a reason to hate me...to maybe move on to someone who deserved her. Like Adrian...maybe. But how come something that sounded right felt so wrong? I didn't have the answer to that question.

I had been too lost in my thoughts and guilt to look where I was going. The next thing I knew I was standing in front of the girl's dorm. Roza's dorm. In the pouring rain, I was soaked wet but I didn't really care.

What the hell are you doing, Dimitri? I mentally yelled at myself. I couldn't be here. I shouldn't...but oh, what wouldn't I give to go in right now and see her. Stop it! This isn't right. You made up your mind yesterday, you can't just go running back whenever you miss her. No, my Roza deserved so much better than that. Another reason for me to let it go and just leave.

But I couldn't. There's something, something from somewhere deep down that was holding me right in the spot, unmoved. Before I could find out what that reason was, a movement caught my eyes.

My thoughts aside, the guardian part of me quickly took over.

The mysterious person went behind the dorm. I knew exactly where he or she was going. The dorm's back exit. Someone was trying to seek into the girl's dorm. At six in the morning. A random thought in my head found its way up to the surface. If someone tries to sneak up on Roza at six in the morning, or just simply tries to wake her up, they're good as dead. I remember how much she hated being interrupted while sleeping. She's not a morning person, so if you try to wake her up, you might as well just try pointing a gun at her. You get the same result. A familiar ache in my chest reminded me how long it's been since things were last alright between us. So long. Too long.

The exit door opening snapped me back to reality. There's no reason for anyone to be sneaking in this early. And since it's my shift, it's also my responsibility. I should just yelled at whoever it was to go back to where he or she came from, that would be easy. But I wanted to know where the mysterious person was going, so quietly I followed behind. Finally he or she stopped walking and was now standing in front of Roza's room.

What on earth was going on? "Hey! What do you think you're doing up here?" I asked from behind.

The person jumped and whirled around so fast, his green eyes widening in fear.

Adrian Ivashkov was standing in front of me.

As soon as he saw me, he relaxed, "God, Belikov! You scared the shit out of me. Don't you know it's wrong to sneak up on people like that?"

I snorted, "Says the person who just sneaked into the girl's dorm."

"Hey! I did it for a reason! Not like you, who did it just to scare the shit out of me!" he protested.

I shook my head, "I have my reason too."

Adrian raised his eyebrows.

"To scare the shit out of you." I smirked.

"Goddamn you, Belikov! And Rose said you're mature!" he meant it as a joke, of course, but as soon as those words left his mouth, the air of jokes and friendliness around us dissipated, replaced by an awkward silence that seems to stretched on forever.

"Dude..." Adrian started.

"So what's your purpose, anyway?" I asked, ignoring his 'look.'

Adrian seemed relieved by the change of topic, but suddenly there was anger in his eyes, "Ah, that purpose is to check up on Rose and see if she's alright. Something you failed to do." he spit out.

I was suddenly quiet, having no response to that because I knew he's right. And Adrian knew I knew because he looked satisfied for a moment there.

"Rose might not forgive me if I punch you in the face...but hear this, Dimitri. I shouldn't have to punish you. I mean I want to, but I don't have to. You know why? Because you just lost the most amazing woman in the world. All because of your own stupidity. _That_ should be a punishment enough."

And with that Adrian turned away from me and began knocking on Roza's door.

* * *

><p><strong>**Rose's POV**<strong>

I shifted around in my seat for what seems like the hundredth time. But whatever I do, I just can't seem to fall asleep. I supposed it has nothing to do with my sitting position.

I've been on the plane for four hours now, heading for Russia. I got myself a first class seat because I do not want to be disturbed my other passengers while I get lost in my thoughts.

I wonder what is going on at the academy right now. Due to the time zones difference thing, it should be around six or seven in the morning back in Montana. I don't think anyone would notice my disappearance yet. Adrian said he was going to stop by in the morning but somehow seven in the morning and Adrian just don't seem to fit together in a sentence. Too early, I thought. But curiosity finally won me over and I decided to slip into Lissa's head.

* * *

><p>Lissa is running. Which I have to say, it's a sight that surprised me quite a lot.<p>

She is heading up the stairs in my dorm. And from the look of it, she's heading towards my room. Hmm...interesting.

Soon, she got to my floor, panting. But she didn't stop, she keeps running until she arrived at my room. Much to her and my surprise, Dimitri and Adrian were already standing there.

I have to admit, the sight of the three of them made my heart ache. But what can I do?

Adrian is knocking furiously on the door, "Rose! Open this goddamn door!"

Finally, Dimitri stepped forward passed him. "Let me." was all he said.

"Guys...what's going on?" Lissa asked, standing awkwardly behind the two of them.

No one paid any attention to her.

"Roza...please, I'm sorry. We need to talk. Please, open the door..." Hearing Dimitri begged like that made me want to just go running back to him.

But no, I cannot. He is just doing this because he somehow felt guilty. It has nothing to do with wanting me back. No, I just can't afford to think like that.

"We're coming in!" Dimitri announced before ramming his muscular shoulder into the door, making it swung open and almost fell out off its hinge.

I held my breath as I waited for their reaction.

Through Lissa's eyes I could see my empty, lifeless room. Everything was cleared. The wall is empty, my bedside table, my closet, everything. All gone. Left for the two envelopes lying on my bed.

I heard someone's sharp intake of breath. Adrian.

"No...no!" he ran to my bathroom, swung the door opened. Another empty room. "NO!" he punched the wall beside my bed, "This is all your fault, you bastard!" Adrian shouted at Dimitri's shocked, terror-masked face.

Looking at him even through Lissa's eyes made my heart clenched. "Don't talk to him like that, Adrian." Lissa warned.

Still protecting him, I thought.

"No, he's right. It's my fault." he said, his voice barely a whisper.

"Hey guys! There are letters here addressed to Adrian and Janine..." Lissa's voice wavered a little when she realized there's none for her.

I feel guilty, but I had nothing to say to Lissa, my so-called Best Friend who was nowhere to be found when I needed her the most. It's better this way.

Adrian's attention snapped to the white letters on the empty bed and I closed my eyes and pulled out off Lissa's head. I don't need to see this. I'm pretty sure that seeing him in pain would definitely change my mind.

I lay back in my seat and closed my eyes. This time, sleep took over. Turned out it had nothing to do with my sitting position after all.

* * *

><p><strong>*Adrian's POV*<strong>

Lissa left the room so there's just me and Dimitri left. We both lost in our own thoughts.

I tore the envelope open without hesitation.

Taking a deep breath, I see Rose's familiar handwriting.

_Adrian,_

_You seeing this letter mean I'm long gone. I'm so sorry I couldn't say goodbye. I'm a terrible person for all that I've put you through. I need you to know that I had to leave. There's something...important I have to do. Thank you for always being there by my side when no one else seems to care. I care about you more than you know. Please don't come looking for me. This is something I have to do alone. But I promise you I will be back. I will come back for you. Take care of yourself and Lissa for me. _

_Your little dhampir forever._

I felt like crying, but the tears wouldn't come. Anger came instead. Anger towards the man that caused all of this.

I turned to face Belikov, who now sat on the edge of the bed, his face buried in his hands.

"This is all because of you." I said through my gritted teeth. "All she's ever done was loved you! Do you have any idea how others would _kill_ for a chance like that?" I yelled at him, venom lacing my voice.

Dimitri snapped, "You think I don't know? You think I don't blame myself every single second knowing I was the one who caused her pain?" he took a breath to calm himself down before speaking again, quieter this time. "You have no idea what I've been through. You have _no _idea why I did what I did. If only..." suddenly he stopped, standing up. Without another glance at me he left the room.

* * *

><p><strong>**Dimitri's POV**<strong>

No, no, no! My Roza couldn't be gone. This must be some kind of joke. She wouldn't leave. Not without goodbye. Nothing. She can't be gone. She just can't...

After I left her room, I ran to the gym. I remember the last time she was upset, she ended up here. I found her punching the crap out of the dummies. Just thinking of her, strong and brave...God! I couldn't believe how things had become between us. How did I mess up so terribly?

Maybe Ivashkov was right. She left because of me...

I was an idiot to think Roza would just let it go. Let _me_ go. After knowing her for a long time, I should have known better. If our roles were reversed, I would never give up. Would never let her go. So how could I be so stupid to doubt her feelings for me?

Stupid, stupid, stupid!

When I got to the gym, my heart sank. It was empty and the dummies were still in good conditions.

No! Please don't let it be true...but where else could she be?

Then it hit me, the cabin! Of course, our cabin. She must be there. She _had_ to be there, I couldn't afford to think otherwise. With that I ran to the place where we let ourselves love each other unconditionally for the first time.

Please, please God, let her be there. We will work things out. I just... I couldn't imagine what life would be like if she's really gone.

I arrived at the cabin. The door is closed and the trees that surrounded it was quiet. Dead silent.

I've never done it before but right then I sent a prayer to God, hoping he'd feel some kind of sympathy for me. Please, let her be in there.

I pushed the door open and it made a squeaky sound. Not good.

I can't say I wasn't expecting it, but I was hoping I would be wrong. Apparently not, the cabin is empty. Well except for the white envelope that was lying on the bed.

I dashed for it and tore the envelope open.

_Dimitri,_

_If I have to write you a letter, describing how I feel about you, I would run out of paper and my pen would run out of ink. So I'm just going to keep it short._

_When you were taken away from me, it was as if someone cut my chest open and ripped my heart out. I couldn't imagine my future without you in it. Then one day, I received the best news of my life. There is a possibility that I can bring you back, Possibility, Dimitri, just a possibility. But in the time when nothing else matters, when you have nothing left to lose…that possibility was the sunlight in my dark and pointless world. I'm not even going to describe the process of what I had to do to get you back. Then you were back. My Dimitri was back. There are no words to describe how I felt when you brown eyes finally recognized me again. But I should have known it wasn't going to be that simple. I thought I was prepared to deal with whatever challenge I had to face in order to feel your arms around me again. I was SO sure. But when you said you no longer loved me, Dimitri. I realized I couldn't be more wrong. I asked myself, what's the point of fighting it anymore if in the end… you no longer care? Do you know what was the thing that kept me fighting? Trying? Doing all the impossible? The love we had, Dimitri! The kind of love I was expecting to feel again once you are back! _

_I'm sorry I left without goodbye. But honestly, what difference would it make, right? Maybe one day I will come back. Who knows?_

_Thank you for everything you've taught me, given me, made me feel. Even if it was only for a short time, you can't begin to imagine how much it meant to me. And those memories will stay with me forever even if nothing else does. Deep down in my heart is where you will always stay._

_One last thing, try to forgive yourself, Dimitri. Because even I have._

_Rose._

I sat in silent, the words she wrote replaying in my head, Over and over. I feel so many things right then. Guilt, sadness, pain, longing…But the worst part is that, if something happens to her out there…if she died – no, I can't think like that – but what if…what if her last thought was that I no longer love her? How could I live knowing I caused her so much pain? I thought I was helping her, giving her a chance of a better future…but I really went too far. And the knowledge that she was really gone, that there's no way I could let her know the truth…that I still love her more than anything else in the world combined, it's killing me. She's gone…my Roza was really gone. I think of the future ahead of me, endless and forever alone. Tears made my eyes blurry. I blinked them away. There were so many things left to say, so many moments I've taken for granted. And why is it that her letter made me feel like things would never be the same again even if she did come back someday…? What did she mean by _those memories will stay with me forever even if nothing else does_? Why would nothing else stay? What did she mean? So many questions are left unanswered and so many explanations are left unexplained. Out of everything that is going on, one thing is certain.

She's right, I have to forgive myself, Because the guilt and self-blaming was the reason that caused all of this. I will forgive myself but I won't admit it to anyone but her. And in order to do that…I have to find my Roza.

* * *

><p><strong>*Rose's POV*<strong>

Soon, I was woken up by the flight attendant. She told me our plane is landing and so I freshened up a little before coming back to my seat.

I looked out the window, the sun is setting and that made that whole sky orange-y. The sight would have been romantic in any other situation. Now, it only made my heart ache more. With every single minutes that passed by, it gave me a chance to rethink, therefore increasing the chance of me changing my mind. But every time, I would find an excuse. What's the point of remembering him if he's not going to be in your future? Everything you do would remind you of him, it would only hurt you. Why not a fresh start? I kept telling myself that until finally, the plane landed.

I got myself a cab and gave the driver the direction to the Belikov's. Through the whole ride I was lost in my own thoughts.

By the time we pulled up in the Belikov's driveway, the sun had set. The warm glow of light from the Belikov's window seems to be the only source of light in the otherwise darkness. I paid the driver and got out with my duffle bag.

The porch floorboards made a creaking sound as I approached the house. My heart was beating fast and loud.

This is it, Rose. No going back now.

Fresh new start, fresh new start, my new motto is ringing in my head.

Alright, taking a deep breath, I lifted my hand up and knocked on the wooden door.

I see movements from inside. Dark silhouette moving towards me.

The door opened.

* * *

><p><strong>I'm going to find a shelter! Please don't kill me for leaving it like that or you won't find out what happens next! HAHAHA :)<strong>

**Phew! It was a little tiring writing this chapter! I got all emotional, especially Dimitri's part! But I promise next chapter won't be so angst-y :)**

**Let me know what you think by leaving a REVIEW! All your opinions and suggestions are really appreciated! :)**

**Thanks for reading and I will try to update soon!**

**Prim**


	4. Chapter 4: Home

**Wow guys! Seriously, THANK YOU for all your reviews! I tried to update ASAP! :D**

**Here is chapter 4 already! Hahaha this is my favorite chapter so far and I hope you all would enjoy it too! **

**Okay, Happy Readings!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Vampire Academy. Only the plot and some characters.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 4<strong>

**Home**

***Rose's POV***

The door to the Belikov's house opened, the light pouring out into the darkness.

Viktoria stood in the doorway.

When she saw me, she blinked, as if expecting me to disappear any second.

When I didn't, she flung herself at me. So fast I was knocked back, almost losing my balance.

"Whoa Vika –" I started.

"Roza!" she screamed at me, "Ohmygod! I can't believe you're here! I am so sorry for what I said to you before, you were right. You've always been right! Please forgive me! Oh, please forgive me! And how on earth did you get here? We were all so scared!" I hold back a laugh. She said it all in one breath.

"Calm down, Vika. Of course I forgive you. And I got here by plane. After it landed I headed straight to see you." I explained.

"Thank god!" she hugged me tight and I have to admit, it made me feel so good to be hugged again. Made me feel loved.

"Hey, what do you mean you were all so scared? What happened?" I asked, suddenly curious.

Viktoria's eyes widen, "Oh! You're right! I'm gonna have to call and let him know!"

I froze. "Vika...tell me what's going on. Call who?" I said slowly and carefully.

She nodded, "Well about an hour ago, we got a phone call from your dad –"

"Wait, what? My dad called here? What did he say?" I cut in.

"He said he got a call from your mom that you ran away! Roza, why would you do that? I mean don't get me wrong, I'm SO happy you are here but...I'm sure it must have scared the hell out of everyone!" she scold.

Wow, this is the new side of Viktoria I've never seen before. I liked it.

"Anyway, he said that as soon as he heard from your mom, he thought you'd end up here. Of course, an hour ago you were on the plane and I told him you're not here! Dammit, he's gonna kill me if he thinks I lied to him. I have to call him, Roza." Viktoria groans.

"No!" I shout out before I could stop myself, "I mean I left for a reason and –"

"Vika? Who's there?" a voice asked from inside the house. I recognized it immediately. Olena Belikov.

"Mama! You're not going to believe who's here!" Viktoria squealed.

There's a sound of movement from inside and a moment later, Olena came into view.

She was wearing her cooking apron and as soon as she saw me, she froze.

"Roza?" she gasped.

"Hi, Olena." I smiled at her, tears brimming my eyes.

"My Goodness! Roza!" she sobbed and soon we were all hugging and laughing in tears.

"Well, what are you doing outside, come on in! I was just cooking dinner. We all can catch up later." she suggested.

Despite everything that had happened, at the mention of Olena's cooking, my world lit up instantly.

* * *

><p>I just took one step into the house when I was attacked.<p>

"Auntie Roza!" someone grabbed my leg and shook me.

I look down to see baby Paul's familiar brown eyes staring up at me.

"Well, hello there, big boy!" I smiled and lifted him up into my embrace.

"Auntie Roza is back!" he grinned and nuzzled his face into the crook of my shoulder.

"Auntie Roza is back, big boy." I patted his head.

"Rose!" Karolina cried, running down the stairs with little Zoya in her arms.

"Roza!" that was Sonya. And so we exchanged hugs and kisses. It's amazing to see all their familiar faces again and I'm glad that after all that had happened, I still have this.

Suddenly, I noticed one member of the family missing from this reunion, "Where's Yeva?" I asked.

"Oh she will be joining us for dinner shortly. She's in her room, said she didn't to be disturb." Karolina explained.

I nodded. I bet the old woman saw me coming.

We arrived in the dining room, Olena had made a steaming pot of stew. Life is great!

As soon as I sat down, I was bombarded with questions, "How have you been, Roza?"

"So, What's going on?"

"Does anyone know you're here?"

"I should call Abe."

I responded to the last one first, "No! No, Vika. You can't. Please."

Everyone seemed amused.

Finally Viktoria spoke up, "Alright, but you have to tell us what's going on."

I was about to blurt it all out, tell them everything when a realization hit me. _That_ was why no one mentioned Dimitri! Oh god, they all think he's still dead – still a strigoi – but it meant the same thing to them. Ah...this was not going the way it was suppose to.

"Uh, guys..." I inhaled, "There's something you all need to know."

I looked around the table, their beautiful faces looked back at me. Will they believe me? What if they don't? What if they decided to call Dimitri and see for themselves? Dimitri would definitely know I'm here then. Oh god...what to do, what to do?

But then I made up my mind. If I were them, I'd want to know if my son/brother was still alive. They deserved to know.

"Dimitri's alive." I whispered.

The silence that followed was terrifying. I could only imagine what's going through their minds right now.

Finally, Olena said quietly, "Of course he is. We all know that, Roza."

"That's not what I meant. I mean, Dimitri is alive...and well." I took a deep breath, "He's a dhampir."

There was a sound of glass hitting the floor. Someone must have dropped their drink. "That's not very funny, Rose." Viktoria said in a sharp-but-wavering voice.

I was about to explain myself when someone did it for me.

"That's because it's _not_ supposed to be funny, Vika."

I gasp.

The raspy voice came from behind me.

"Yeva!" I jumped out of my chair to greet her.

Yeva Belikov looks exactly just as I remembered her. Old but wise with that familiar brown eyes that is now staring intensely at me.

"Ah, Roza. Welcome back." she gave me a pat on the back before she joined the wide-eyed, mouth hanging opened, family members on the table.

It's gonna take some work for that woman to start warming up to me, I mentally sighed.

"What did you say, Babushka?" Viktoria asked her, clearly still in shock.

Yeva shoved a spoonful of stew into her mouth before replying, "Oh it was no joke, Vika. That was why none of you were laughing."

Olena spoke up for the first time, "Roza, why did you say that?" She sounded so close to tears, it broke my heart.

"Dimitri is alive, Olena. I - I brought him back myself." I said, my voice barely audible.

"But that's not even possible!" Karolina exclaimed. She, too, was on the verge of tears.

"That's what everyone thought, so did I...before I saw it happened with my own eyes." I said.

"How?" was all everyone managed to say.

"I broke Victor Dashkov out of prison and he told me a secret...a strigoi can be brought back by a stake, charmed by a spirit-user." I explained.

There were only sounds of gasps throughout the room.

"Then...what you're saying is that...Dimka... is back?" I heard Viktoria's sharp intake of breath.

"He is." I nodded.

That's when Olena burst out in tears, Viktoria, Karolina and the others following. Even Yeva had tears in her eyes. I noticed the old woman was quiet through the whole thing. I bet she already saw it in her 'visions.'

"Can we call him?" Olena asked, still in tears.

"No!" I blurted out before I could stop myself. I wanted to slap myself as soon as I saw Olena's horrified face. "No, I mean, of course you can. It's just that...with the time differences and all, he's probably asleep and if he doesn't pick up the phone...I don't want you to be worried..." I lied smoothly, or so I hoped.

Olena nodded slowly, taking each words in, "We'll call first thing in the morning then, right Rose?" she asked.

I nodded.

"One last question, why isn't Dimitri here with you? I would expect you two to be inseparable now after what had happened." Olena wondered.

I bit the inside of my cheek._ So did I_, Olena, so did I. But I can't say that. I was quite sure I'd break down and I couldn't hurt these people I love like that. They finally found out that Dimitri was back. They should be happy, they _deserved_ to be happy. I was not going to drive a wedge between the family just because our relationship didn't work out. No, I wasn't going to do that.

"He needs to look after Lissa." I came up with the best answer I could think off.

I had no idea if I convinced everyone but thank god no one pressed further.

"Well, it's getting late. Vika, why don't you show Roza up to Dimka's room? So she can rest. We will talk in the morning." Olena suggested.

I froze. I will be sleeping in Dimitri's room. Oh god...so much memories. What if his aftershave scent is still there? How could I –

"Roza?" Viktoria asked, her eyes searching mine.

I blinked, "Yes. Yes, alright. Thank you for letting me stay." I gave Olena a hug, "Goodnight."

"Of course, you're always welcome here, sweetheart." she kissed my forehead.

I followed Viktoria upstairs, down the familiar hallway. Then we came to a stop in front of Dimitri's room.

"So, are you going to tell me?" Viktoria raised her eyebrows at me.

I raised my brow back, "Tell you what?"

"Oh come on now, Rose! Give me some credit! I saw what you did there downstairs when Mama mentioned Dimka." she accused.

I swallowed, damn it.

"I'm tired, I want to rest." I pushed the door open and turned the lights on and almost had a heart attack.

Yeva stood in the middle of the room.

"_Holy crap! _Yeva, what are you doing here? How – how did you get in?" I shrieked.

She barely shrugged, "The door. And that's not the point."

What point? I thought.

"Viktoria wasn't the only who noticed your smooth lies..." she squinted at me.

I feel like a trapped animal, cornered by two women who were going to get an answer out of me no matter what.

"Okay, okay!" I held up my hands in surrender.

They both gave me a satisfying smile. I sigh, what was that phrase? Like father, like son?

* * *

><p>I sat on my bed – well, <em>Dimitri<em>'s bed, but that sounds a bit too...you get what I mean. Viktoria and Yeva stood over me. Did I mention Yeva had her hands on her hips? Oh yes.

"Why did you lie, Rose? What aren't you telling us?" Viktoria asked.

The air is so serious, so tense around us, I feel like I can hardly breathe.

"You're right. I didn't tell you everything." I confessed, my eyes not looking at anything, just staring out the window. "When I told you that you need a spirit-charmed stake to reverse a strigoi back into a dhampir…that wasn't all."

"What then? What's more to it?"

"A spirit-user has to be the one to do it. The final step." I said as a matter-of-factly.

Viktoria cocked her head to one side, "But you're not…oh!" her eyes widened. "Vasilissa Dragomir!"

I nodded, "Yes, it was her who completed the process."

"Yeah, but you shouldn't feel bad! I mean I know you'd prefer doing all of it yourself but basically you did everything! There was no option for this last one, of course everyone would understand. Dimitri, for sure, he must be so grateful –" Viktoria stopped abruptly, seeing the expression on my face.

"Rose? What's the matter? Don't tell me he didn't think so. Because if so, I'm gonna fly up there and kick his stupid ass!"

"Viktoria!" Yeva scolded,

"What? But I'm just saying, Babushka! My brother wouldn't do something like that to the woman he loves." She argued.

When I didn't back her up or even nod, Viktoria looked horrified. "No, he didn't. He couldn't possibly –" she broke off when I finally nodded.

"You want the truth? He thought it was all Lissa's doing. He thanked her, he is basically _worshipping_ her. And me? Nothing. No thank you, no gratitude, no welcome back hug, no _nothing_." My voice broke at the end but I continued, "I was hurt, but okay, I figured he'd need some time to deal with it. You said he'd never do something like that to the woman he loves, that's what I thought too. I didn't understand, I just _couldn't_. But then he said…_something_…and it's all clear." I blinked the tears away, still staring out of the window into the night sky.

By this point, everyone was quiet. They probably didn't know what to say, which is okay. I'd rather receive a silence than a pity.

Viktoria must have found a way to speak again because she asked, "What did he say?" so quiet it's as if she's afraid of the answer.

I was afraid that saying it out loud would make it worse, but I had no choice, they need to know the truth. Maybe if I say it, it would somehow make it easier to deal with. "He said he doesn't love me anymore. That love fades and his has." I took one deep, ragged breath. I was _this_ close to breaking down.

"That stupid boy!" Yeva swore so loud it made me jumped. Did Yeva just…swear? If we were in a less serious situation, I would have laughed my ass out. Now, I just sat there awkwardly.

"Idiot! _Idiot!_ Did being a strigoi erase his mind completely? This is bullshit, Rose! He can't mean that!" Viktoria yelled.

I gave her a sad look, "Apparently, he meant it."

"No! No, you don't understand, Rose! Dimka…he…he loves you so much, when he first told us about you, we thought he was mad! You are all he sees! Dammit, you are basically his whole _world_! That kind of love doesn't fade, Rose. Never!" she said firmly. Oh I want to believe her…I really do.

"I wish you were right, Vika, I do. But…it's not how he feels anymore. Maybe something changed his mind, I don't know. I honestly don't." I really hope she'd believe me. Knowing he no longer loved me was already hard enough, I didn't need to try and convince other to people to believe it too.

"Vika, can I have a moment alone with Roza?" Yeva suddenly said.

Viktoria hesitated for a moment before nodding and left the room.

I wasn't sure if I should be relieved…or terrified. What did she want to say to me? Why did it have to be private? I guess I was about to find out!

Yeva sat down on the bed just beside me, "Roza…first off, I want to thank you. For bringing my grandson back. For doing whatever you had to for him. I have been wrong about you before and was too quick to judge. You really are an amazing person, your parents should be proud." She smiles lightly at me, "Second, you don't really believe that bullshit my grandson told you, do you? Because like Vika said, that boy is madly in love with you! He would do anything for you, would probably even _die _for you, if I must say. And from my long experience, that kind of love is the kind that people can only dream of, and it is the kind that could never fade away." She said in her raspy voice.

She sounded so wise and all-knowing, and she knew Dimitri really well. Those are even more reasons why I should just believe her. But I couldn't. Unless I hear that from Dimitri himself, I doubt anyone could make me believe.

"I don't know, Yeva. If what you said is true, if he's so madly, deeply in love with me then…it just makes it even more difficult to understand, doesn't it? Why he did what he did?" I asked.

For a while, the old woman was quiet. Lost in her thoughts, probably. Or maybe the wise woman just couldn't come up with an explanation. This is really bad.

But I didn't quite mind the silence, I welcomed it actually. To just sit there on Dimitri's bed in Dimitri's room, it surprisingly calmed me. Put me at ease, somehow.

When it seemed like a decade had passed, Yeva got up from the edge of the bed and was now face-to-face with me. "I wish I have all the answers for you, Roza. But it is not that easy. Sometimes, you wait for answers to come to you, but sometimes you have to go out and find it yourself." She started walking toward the door. Just before the turned the knob, she spoke up, "You know, sometimes guilt can make people do…or say a lot of things they normally would not. It is a form of anger directed toward one's self…and you know how people can be when they are mad. Let say you are angry with your friend, you say bad things to her out of anger but that's pretty much all. Imagine being mad at _yourself._ If you did all those bad things when you're angry with others, what would you do to yourself? Now, I believe there are many answers to this question but in my opinion, most people would push away what matters most to them. If you think you are not good enough, not _worthy, _what's a better way to punish yourself than by shutting out the person you want _and_ need the most?" Yeva said it lightly, but she had no idea how deep that thought already went into my mind. "Try thinking of the situation in reversed, hmm?" she gave me another smile and then she was gone.

That night I barely slept at all despite my exhaustion. What Yeva said kept replaying in my head. I pushed it down; willing myself to forget it, knowing it wouldn't change a thing. But somehow, it always found its own way back up.

* * *

><p>The next morning I woke up surprisingly early. 7.04 a.m. I took a showered, did my usual stuffs before going downstairs.<p>

After last night, I realized I was wasting time. I came here for a reason. The longer I stay close to these people, the more I was likely to forget my goal. What Yeva said was still replaying in my head. It definitely got me thinking. But after spending the whole night thinking, I came up with the same question, _how would knowing that change anything?_ Maybe it's guilt, he blamed himself. It's not like I didn't know that. But how could things ever be the same if he couldn't find it in him to forgive himself? It couldn't. Besides, why couldn't I just accept it? What Yeva said may be true, but he was also serious when he told me he no longer loved me. I guess choosing to believe Yeva was easier. Anything would be easier than to accept that the man you love, no longer loves you.

Focus, Rose! I mentally scold myself. You came here for a reason, remember? Now, just get it done already. Staying here one more day and I was sure I'd change my mind. I'd do it today then, after breakfast. I'd visit Oksana and Mark…and see what they could do.

As soon as I got downstairs, I knew something was wrong. There was no smell of Olena's cooking. No pancake, no omelet, nothing. Not even a sound of baby Paul and Zoya playing. I was on high-alert, preparing for an attack if any were to happen. But there was no nauseas-feeling I get whenever a strigoi was near either. I quickly made my way to the kitchen, only to find everyone sitting there in silence. When I came into view, Olena looked up, her eyes filled with tears.

"Oh god, Roza! I'm so sorry! I can't believe my son would ever do that!" she ran to me and held me in a tight embrace, "I'm so sorry." She started sobbing.

I froze. Then I began searching through the faces, finally my gaze landed on Viktoria.

_You told her?_ I mouthed.

She nodded apologetically and I mentally sighed.

They all knew.

* * *

><p><strong>There you go! Sorry I ended it there! Haha I know how much you guys hate cliffhangers :) But I promise next chapter will be worth it!<strong>

**I also know, as a reader as well, how much you guys hate waiting for an update! So, if you like hurt/comfort/romance kind of story, you can check out my other story "When I'm Gone." It's the same style but with a different plot :) That is, if you want! It's already completed so you won't have to wait for an update. Believe me, I know how painful it is :) That being said, I promise to update real soon! Just leave me a REVIEW ;) Haha**

**Okay, that's it! **

**Bye for now,**

**Prim**


	5. Chapter 5: New Guy

**Chapter 5**

**New Guy**

**Hey readers! Chapter 5 is finally here! Sorry it took a long time. I was so busy with school and all the stuff related to it! But anyway, here it is! **

**Thank you so much for all your reviews! It's one of the main reasons why I enjoy writing fanfictions so much :-)**

**Anyway, I'm gonna stop talking now. Enjoy the chapter! :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy, Richelle Mead does. I only own the plots and some characters.**

* * *

><p><em><strong>24 hours earlier.<strong>_

***Janine's POV***

"Damn it, pick up the phone, Zmey!" I whispered harshly into the phone.

I've been trying to call him for the last ten minutes and so far, I wasn't successful.

I need to give him the news...he would know what to do.

Finally, after the tenth ring, he picked up. "My dear, Janine. To what do I owe the pleasure?" he's smirking, I could tell from his voice.

"Oh believe me there is nothing _pleasant_ to what you're about to hear, Abe." I said, my voice grim.

He was instantly alert, "What's the matter? Are you okay?"

I couldn't help it, I smiled. But then I was all serious again, "No, no Abe. I'm not. Rose is gone..." I sighed.

"Wait, you're calling to tell me that _our daughter_ is gone?" he asked, voice rising.

"She ran away from the academy. I just found out this evening," I told him and he swore from the other end of the line.

I was away on duty until 8 p.m. When I got back to my room, Guardian Belikov was there waiting. There were shadows under his eyes and I never thought I would ever associate the word 'terrible' with him. But boy! He looked terrible!

He told me the news and gave me a letter, the letter Rose wrote for me. It was short, but it was better than nothing.

_Mom,_

_I'm so sorry I put you through this again. But there's something I need to do. I promise when it's all done, I will be back. Don't worry about me, or try to look for me. I'm in a safe place._

_Rose._

That last bit didn't quite assure me. I know my daughter. She could be walking into a warehouse full of strigois and if it means protecting the ones she loves, she'd be saying the same thing_._

I read the letter to Abe, hoping he'd figure something out.

He did.

"Well, according to the letter...she said she is somewhere safe. And if you ask me, there's only one place I can think of." He said, "I'll take care of it. Don't worry, darling." he was smirking again. But he hung up before I could say a thing.

I rolled my eyes. But I wouldn't lie, talking to him helped. And if he said he'd take care of it, he would.

Rest assured, he's Abe Mazur after all.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Present day<strong>_

***Rose's POV***

"I still can't believe it! I am sure I raised my son better than that!" Olena shook her head. This is the tenth time she had said that.

"It's not your fault, Olena." and that was the tenth time I had to reassure her.

"Oh but it is! Respect women, that was my number one rule." she sighed.

Well he didn't exactly disrespect me...or did breaking a woman's heart count as being disrespectful?

"My son and I are going to have a talk in the near future. I need to know what's going on in that mind of his!" she scolded.

I smiled politely at her. Little did she know that it wouldn't change a thing.

Just then, there was a knock on the door. Karolina got up to get it. Everyone was silent for a while.

Then, Oksana and Mark walked in.

"Oksana!" I shot out of my seat and swung my arms around her.

"Rose!" she laughed. "Welcome back."

I grinned at her, my sadness over Dimitri disappeared for a second.

"Hello Mark." I greeted him, we exchanged a quick hug.

"Olena called to let us know that you are back. We decided to pay the visitor a little visit." she smiled.

"Well it's so good to see you. I was going to stop by later today anyway." I told her.

So we all just talked, caught up on what each of us had been up to. No one mentioned Dimitri for a while. Fine by me.

Lunch came and went, Oksana and Mark were leaving so I told the Belikovs I was going with them to their house.

"So, what's bothering you, Rose?" Oksana asked as soon as the door to her house swung shut.

"You can tell?" I asked. Was I that obvious?

"Well, your aura is all dark. And you look...broken." she said softly.

I nodded. "Something happened."

And I told them everything.

Both of them listened carefully, never interrupting. But when I mentioned the part Dimitri told me he no longer loved me, Oksana gasped, her hand covered her mouth. Mark wrapped his arms around her shoulders.

"So, I asked myself, what am I going to do? I just can't imagine my future without him in it, Oksana! All my life, I've been planning how to make it work. The only thing I ever had to worry about was someone finding out about us. And that was _nothing_ compared to this!" I stopped to breathe, "I couldn't live without him...It's unimaginable...but I'm not that kind of girl who is so desperate she has to take her own life. Never. Then another thought hit me, what if I don't have to remember him? Then I can continue my life without any interference with him. It would be easy, _so_ easy! We could be in the same room, no, _scratch that_, he could be _making out _with another woman in front of me and I wouldn't feel _a thing_! Life would be painless." I sighed. "You can help me, Oksana. Make me forget him, take away the memory."

They were both silent for a while.

"Please...you can do that, can't you?" I asked.

"Can I do that? Yes, I can. But will I? I'm sorry Rose, but I will not take away your memory." she said apologetically, "You're hurt, you think this is the best solution. To just make yourself forget. But you are young, you will soon realize that life goes on. You may feel like doing it now, but in the future, you may regret it. When you mess with this kind of stuff, there will be consequences. And because I care about you, Rose, I won't do that to you."

I shook my head. No, this couldn't be happening! My last chance of happiness, gone. Poof!

"But it's my choice too! You don't understand! What Dimitri and I had...it was too much to just _forget_ and move on from!" I argued, "Please, Oksana, I don't want to spend the rest of my life missing him." I pleaded.

As I waited for her reply, my heart pounded.

"There are other ways –" She started.

"No." I stood up, refusing to listen to what she had to say. "If you're not going to help me then fine, I'll find someone who will."

I started making my way to the door when Mark spoke up, "You know, if you do that you'll only hurt the ones you love. Think carefully before you do something permanent like that."

I shook my head, "And it's okay for me to be hurt by the ones I love, then?"

When neither of them said anything, I left.

* * *

><p>I got back to my room, Dimitri's room, and started packing again.<p>

I couldn't stay here any longer. Oksana refused to help, and sooner or later, I was sure Dimitri's going to come and look here. If he even cares, that is.

I had no idea where I would go next but something would come up, I was sure.

I left a note for Oksana, apologizing and explaining why I had to leave. I thanked her for everything and promised I would be back in the future.

Quietly as I could, I snuck out the back door. I would have to walk at least fifteen minutes before I get to the nearest train station. I was planning to go somewhere far, far away. Maybe I'll go live up in the mountains or in the middle of the woods. If I couldn't get Oksana to make me forget him then I'll go somewhere...somewhere _nothing _would remind me of him.

* * *

><p>Thirty minutes later, I sat inside a small cafe in the train station, my already cold hamburger untouched.<p>

I've been trying to come up with a plan since I've arrived and it kinda ruined my appetite.

Where would I go next? I couldn't go back, no way.

I reached into my pocket for my new disposable phone, when my hand came in contact with something else.

I pulled it out to find a crumpled piece of paper.

Huh? How the hell did it get here?

_Not everything is as simple as it seems. Think carefully before you do something you might regret._

I knew immediately who it was from. Yeva.

I swear that woman confused me sometimes. But before I could figure it all out, the seat opposite of me was suddenly occupied.

My head snapped up and my eyes were instantly drawn to a pair of golden brown eyes. Our eyes locked and it was as if I was drowning into them, deeper and deeper.

"I don't suppose this seat is taken?" said a voice that sent a tingly warm feeling through my whole system.

For a moment there, I was struggling to reply. Something that had _never_ happened to me since Dimitri.

"Oh no, you're more than welcome to join me." I said, giving him my best man-eater smile.

I allowed myself to check him out a little, well maybe not _that_ little. He was dressed in all black: black leather jacket, black jeans and black combat boots. The color really suited him. He has a messy dark hair, styled perfectly. Dark eyebrows and long lashes. High cheekbones and full, luscious lips. In other words, this dude is a sex god. He's sexy as hell.

Ah, it's been a long time since I had flirted with someone. Someone _this_ hot. Oh, too long. I might as well just have fun now.

"Good to hear, I thought a beautiful woman like you could use some company." he said, the corner of his lips lifting.

He just called me beautiful. Oh well, there's no turning back now!

"I'm flattered. I could always use a company from a third-degree-burn guy." I winked.

His smile widened to full force. "Third degree burn, huh? I have a feeling we would get along." he caught my eyes again, his beautiful eyes sparkling, "I'm Aleksander Eli. But you can call me Alek."

I grinned, "I'd rather call you Eli. It sounds a little more...badass."

He chuckled, "It's Eli then. And you are?"

"Rose Hathaway." I said.

Eli smiled, "Rose...I like the sound of that. Make you seem almost...dangerous. Like if you're not careful, you'd get prick by the thorns."

I couldn't help it, my smile turned one thousand megawatt. "Oh I _am_ dangerous, alright."

"Being mysterious here, aren't we?" he remarked.

I shrugged, "I'm gonna tell you a secret. I heard guys like it better when girls are mysterious. You know, rather than those with a flashing neon sign that reads **notice me** on their foreheads." I said in a mocking voice.

Eli burst out laughing, "Well, you heard right."

So we continued joking and flirting with each other for the next five minutes or so. Everything was going perfect until Eli decided to ruin it.

"So...who's the guy?" he asked.

My mouth fell open, I snapped it shut quickly. "What guy?"

"Oh please, you were practically drowning in your own tears before I showed up." he said, his voice soft.

I stared at him. Was I that obvious? No. No way, I couldn't possibly be _that_ obvious. "You're not serious."

He looked as serious as a person could be.

"Oh but I am..." he dragged his voice." Well maybe not entirely."

I raised my eyebrows at him.

"I knew you weren't having the best day of your life...but not because you were _actually_ drowning in your own tears..." he broke off." But because I saw your aura."

I gasped. No way. No, no, no _please_! Not Eli too! And I thought I've finally escaped these kinds of things. Leave it to my luck to bring me right back to where I've started.

"What did you say?" I asked, voice rising.

"I said, I saw your aura. And it's dark, like one shade away from black. I've never seen anything like that before. You could say that was what first gotten my attention...but then I saw _you_...well, I guess it all worked out pretty well." he winked.

This guy is stupid! When I asked him what he said, it's not like I hadn't heard the first time, I was actually giving him a chance to change his mind. Stupid, stupid, stupid!

"I got a train to catch." I said, standing up. Of course that was a lie, but he didn't need to know that.

His face fell immediately, "No, you don't."

"Yes, I –" I stopped, squinting at him, "Why would you say that? You can't actually read my mind, can you?"

Say no, please say no for the sake of my sanity.

"No."

I exhale in relief.

"Not really." he added and I felt like smacking my forehead to the table. "I can't _read_ your mind, that would be creepy. But I can read auras pretty well. I can tell when you're not telling the truth. Lying I mean."

Oh joy, that's just perfect.

"And I was right, wasn't I? You don't have to go anywhere." he raised his eyebrow.

I sighed, "Yes, you're right I don't have anywhere to go. But that doesn't mean I am going to stay here either. So if you'll excuse me..." I turned around to leave.

"I can help you, you know. I can make you forget." he offered. That stopped me in my track.

"Are you a spirit user?" I asked, turning around to face him.

"You could say that." he shrugged.

I squinted at him. "What's that supposed mean?"

Eli shrugged again. "I specialized in spirit...and other...things too."

I stare at him, "You're kidding."

"No, I'm not."

"But...that's not possible!" I exclaimed. How could it be true? There was no way he specialized in all the elements.

"Well...What can I say? I'm unique." he said, the corner of his mouth lifting.

I shook my head, "Can you please be serious for one minute?" I snapped.

Eli grinned, "What do you want me to say, babe?"

When I didn't reply, his smile dropped.

"I don't know why I am this way. My parents were both powerful spirit-users. I guess their powers affected me somehow. I really don't know." he sighed.

My brain was trying really hard to process what he just said. Was it really possible? It seemed unreal...but what did I know? A spirit-user is rare enough. _Two_ spirit-users' offspring...that's... unheard of.

"Okay...so what, you can set people on fire and drown them at the same time?" I asked.

He smiled, "I've never tried it _that_ way...but yes. Something along that line."

Well that was just lovely. I _had_ to run into another supernatural being, not just a normal one but an _anomaly_ supernatural being. Great job, Rose.

"What do you mean earlier? When you said you could make me forget?" I asked, changing the topic.

"Because of my _uniqueness_...I can help you. I can make you forget him. If that's what you want..." he said suggestively.

Wasn't that what you wanted, Rose? That was why you came to Russia in the first place. Oksana refused to help but now you found someone else who would. What was it you're waiting for? I asked myself.

"If you take away my memory of him...what will happen to my other memories?" I asked. I wasn't ready to forget everyone else in my life too. Not Adrian, not my mom, not my dad, not even Lissa.

"Nothing. They would not be affected. I can erase a certain person from your memory. Everything else will be the same. Like removing one drawing from the whole picture." he explained.

I nodded. "Okay...what about if someone else mentions him? Or if I see a picture of him or something?"

"You just simply won't remember." he said.

"But wouldn't that be suspicious?" I asked further.

He thought about this a little before answering, "Well, there's one thing we could do."

I raised my eyebrow at him.

"We could say you were in an accident. You could wake up and...Don't remember him anymore. That kind of thing happens all the time." he said.

I thought about it. He was right. It wouldn't be suspicious that way. I could be in an accident and then woke up not remembering Dimitri. I would still remember my friends and family. No one would have to get hurt. Well, except for Dimitri, but I doubt he'd care. Yeah, that could work.

"Okay then...what's the catch?" I asked.

He smiled, "No catch."

"I don't believe you. Why would you want to help me?"

He winked, "Oh I have this habit of helping damsels in distress."

I rolled my eyes. "You better not try something funny."

"I won't. I swear." he held out his pinky, "Pinky promise."

I couldn't help but laugh. "I thought only girls do that."

Eli grinned, "Told you I'm unique."

I shook my head but held out my pinky anyway.

"What do we do now?" I asked him.

Eli took out a twenty-dollar bill and gave it to the waitress, then he stood up. "Now, I'm taking you home."

* * *

><p><strong>Dun-daaaa! That's the end of Chapter 5! What do you think of the new guy? Like him? Hate him? Any suggestions? Let me know by leaving a review! <strong>

**As always, thank you to all of you who read and review! :)**

**I will update soon,**

**Prim. **


	6. Chapter 6: Faded

**Hello everybody! Good news I'm back with Chapter 6! I know, I know, I have been gone like FOREVER. I've been away for a vacation and the internet connection there was really bad! I'm really sorry! Thank you for being so patient and putting up with me! Here is Chapter 6 for you all amazing readers! The longest chapter so far! Enjoy! :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy. Only the plot and some of the characters!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 6<strong>

**Faded**

****Rose's POV****

The train ride was no longer than two hours. Most of the time was spent in silent, me and Eli both too lost in our own thought to start a conversation.

Finally, we arrived in a small town in the North of Baia.

'Welcome to Bane.' said a huge wooden sign. "Bane? This is where you live?" I asked as we got out of the train. The cold, October wind hit me in the face and I tugged my coat closer.

"Not really. I don't settle in one place for too long. I like to travel around, live in different places. But this is where I was born and it's been too long since I've come home. It's also the only place safe to do...what we planned to do." he replied, leading me out of the train station.

As soon as we got out, I gasped. Bane was beautiful. Almost like Baia but with snow-capped mountains surrounding us in every direction. It's the middle of October so all the trees were in a warm-welcoming shade of orange and red. Crystal clear lakes dotted the otherwise green hills. The sky was blue..._so_ blue that it made everything else around came to life. The smell of fresh bread lingered in the air, making my mouth watered.

"I know, this town blew me away every time." Eli smiled, noticing my reaction.

"It is beautiful! If I was born in a place _half_ as gorgeous as this, I'd never leave." I shook my head at him.

His smile became even wider, "Wait until we get to my place."

In any other situation, I'd think he was bragging. But here, in the middle of this breath-taking landscape, all the protests died in my mouth. The only question left was, how in the world could it get any better than this?

* * *

><p><strong>**Dimitri's POV**<strong>

I just got back from my shift when my phone rang.

Uninterested, I slowly made my way to it on my bedside table. Ever since Roza left, nothing in the world seemed to matter anymore. Every day is long and torturing. Most of the time I'd stayed locked up in my room and only go out for my shifts. Lissa tried talking to me out of my misery, assuring me that Roza is strong and she will be fine, but so far nothing she said worked. Of course nobody knew that while I was alone is my room, I wasn't just sulking. I was doing some research. Since I've made up my mind about finding Roza, I've been working hard trying to track her down. So far, nothing proved to be helpful. I searched everywhere. _Everywhere_. Well, except for one place. My own house in Baia. The possibility that she might be there is really high but I couldn't bring myself to call and ask. My family still thinks I'm a strigoi and because of what has been going on, I haven't got time to call and explain. I will soon though, I promised myself. But just because I couldn't call and ask them myself doesn't mean I didn't do anything to try and find Roza. I talked to Guardian Hathaway earlier before my shift and she said she already called Abe and informed him of the situation. He and his men will be keeping an eye out for her in Russia and will call if they found anything.

"I also gave him your number, in case you know something more than I do." she also said.

If Abe is aware of what I've done to her daughter, he'd probably be on his way to kill me right now. But I couldn't say I didn't deserve any of it. I just want to find Roza. That's all that seemed to be on my mind these days. If the best chance of doing it is by working with her father then, that's what I'll do.

Finally back to the present, I picked up my phone. Unknown number, it said.

"Belikov." I answered.

There was a little paused at the end of the line before the voice of none other than Abe Mazur spoke up, "Guardian Belikov, this is Abe Mazur talking. I hope you don't mind that my wife gave me your number."

"It's fine. We both just want to find Roza. And please sir, call me Dimitri." I said.

"Well, Dimitri. Let's get down to business then." Another pause. "One of my men just reported to me that he may have seen Rose leaving at a train station in Baia. Now, I already asked, of course, where she's heading for but stupid guy, he didn't notice."

I exhale, so someone saw her. At least I know she's fine. That's enough for now. "I thought she may be with my family but I supposed –"

Abe cut me off, "Oh, I've already checked with the Belikovs. Your sister, Viktoria, picked up and told me Rose wasn't there. I do not know if she's telling the truth or not that is why I'm planning to stop by and see for myself."

No way. I couldn't let that happen. If Abe stopped by, not only will my family be scared but they will also ask questions. About me, I'm sure. I couldn't let Abe be the one to bring them the news that I'm back. What kind of son would I be then? No, I have to do that myself.

"No, I'll go. I haven't seen my family since...since I was turned. I want to be the one to tell them." I said, then quickly added, "I'll also look for Roza. If she's there, I promise I'll let you know."

I prayed he'd trust me. I know he has no reasons to but still, I hope he would.

After a long silence, he finally agreed. "Fine. I'll have a private jet pick you up at the academy. Call me first thing when you get to the Belikovs. I don't care if she's there or not, just call me."

I promised him I will. Before hanging up, Abe spoke up, "Good luck, Belikov. We both just want Rose back to where she's safe. Good luck."

As soon as he hung up, I began packing. I have to hurry if I want to catch that jet.

I'm going to Russia.

* * *

><p><strong>**Rose's POV**<strong>

Turned out Eli was right. He wasn't bragging after all.

After another half an hour ride up the mountains, we finally arrived at a place where Eli calls home.

Our rented, Jeep Cherokee barely parked before I threw the door opened and jumped out.

"Geez! Your house has the BEST view in the entire world!" I exclaimed.

Right on the top of the mountain is a huge cabin, all made out of wood. With a chimney on the roof and colorful wild flowers around the front, it looked as if we just stepped into one of those fairytale stories. But that's not all, right beside the house is the bluest lake I've ever seen. The water is so clear that I can see our surroundings reflecting on the surface. Higher mountains surrounded us on every side except for the front of the house, which is a cliff. It's not one of those scary, rocky cliffs that promised a painful death but it shows us the entire forests that spread wide below. We're so high up that there is a thin layer of fog everywhere, making the place even more magical.

"So you like it?" Eli came up from behind me.

Like it? I love this place! So far away from all the craziness in the world. But I also know this place must mean a lot to him. I doubt he brought many people here.

"I love it. Thank you for bringing me here." I smiled lightly at him.

He shifted uncomfortably, "I'm glad. I have never brought anyone here." he stopped. "I mean, _I_ barely come here anymore."

"Why?" I asked before I could think or stop myself.

"Let's go inside. I'll tell you more." and so we went inside.

The interior of the house is just as beautiful as the exterior and everything surrounding it. All the furnitures were grand and elegant, yet still cozy at the same time.

He led me to the living room where we then sat on a huge, velvet couch.

Then he looked at me, "When I was five, my family and I were celebrating Christmas here. Everything was great. Magical." Eli paused, staring ahead into the fog and I have a feeling that it's not going to be a _magical_ story anymore. "We were having dinner when it happened - well they were, I was in this very room playing with the robot my dad got me for Christmas. Out of nowhere, a group of strigois burst into the house. We were all shocked because no one was supposed to know we even exist. You see, my parents, Michael and Elise Eli, they were very powerful back then. Before they were even married, they both had a lot of enemies wishing to kill them for their power. Morois, strigois, even dhampirs. You can imagine what it's like when people found out that two of the most powerful spirit-users are getting married. They knew their powers are going to double. Some of their enemies were jealous, but most were scared. Terrified. Despite being powerful, my parents were good people. They didn't want to hurt anyone even if that person was trying to kill them. Of course when it came down to it, they'd kill their enemies...but if they had a choice, they wouldn't. From time to time, there would be an attack. Then another and another. But that wasn't a problem for them. They were powerful, they could take care of themselves and each other..." he trailed off.

"What happened?" I asked.

His voice was hard when he spoke, "Me. _I_ happened. And then my twin sister, Irina. When my mother found out she was pregnant with us, she was very happy but at the same time, she was scared. Scared for us. My parents could always took care of their enemies. But that was just the two of them before, both gifted with amazing powers. When my mother was pregnant, she could no longer fight like before. And they both knew they could not depend on my father alone in an attack and expect all of us to get out alive. That's why he came up with an idea to fake their deaths. The morning after, it was all over the news that the Eli Estate had been burned down to ashes by their enemies. No one suspected a thing because everyone was aware of how many enemies my parents had. And they were probably just relieved that they were gone." he stopped to look at me, as if asking if he should continued.

I nodded for him to go on, too caught up in his stories to speak.

"So they were having dinner when the strigois burst through the door. We had no guardians to protect us. First, because my parents trusted no one and second, no one in the world knew they were still alive and that me and my sister even existed. It was horrible and so...fast. One minute I was playing with my robot, then the door was flying off it's hinge and the next, a strigoi had it's teeth sunk into my mother's neck..." he shuddered at the memory. I took his hands, hoping it would somehow provided him comfort. He pulled away, "I was so shocked I couldn't turn away, couldn't get up and get help, couldn't do _anything_! I basically watched my whole family massacred." he said through gritted teeth.

I was absolutely speechless.

Rose Hathaway was speechless.

I want to comfort him, to tell him everything will be fine but I know it won't help. His family is dead. I knew what it's like to lose someone you love. That's why I knew there's nothing I could do, or say to make it alright.

So I did what Rose Hathaway does best, I made a joke, "So, no secret alias then? Man, I thought you'd have some cool names made up so no one would recognize you."

Eli actually smiled. "Yes, actually I do. Daniel Black, Jonathan White, Sam Grey...but my personal favorite, Alek Xander."

I laughed out loud, "Black, White and Grey? Could you be anymore creative! But I like Alek Xander...it's cool. It's really cool." Then another question hit me, "So...Aleksander Eli really is your real name?"

Eli nodded. "I thought it'd be safe to tell you. You didn't strike me as a person who would want to kill me for my power. Besides, it's been too long since I've heard the name Eli. I kinda miss it."

"Looks can be deceiving. I am dangerous, alright?" I put on my most serious face but as soon as I saw his smirking face, I burst out laughing.

"You've said that before at the train station." he remarked.

"Yes, and I meant it."

He looked amused, "So, tell me about yourself, Snow White."

I almost choked on the air I was breathing and died. "What did you just call me?"

Eli chuckled, "Why? You don't like Snow White? I think it fits you perfectly. You know...a pretty girl running away from home, living in the woods. A bit of a damsel in distress but brave as hell. I think Snow White is perfect."

I choked on the air I was breathing. "First, Eli, if you know me _at all_, you would _never_ associate me with a Disney princess. Second, I'm nowhere near pale as her. And third, I'm not a damsel in distress. I'm doing perfectly fine on my own. So to answer your question, no, Snow White is not the perfect word for me."

Eli laughed harder, "Whatever. I like the name Snow White. Good luck trying to change my mind."

I rolled my eyes. "So back to business. You're going to make me forget. You aren't going to back out now, are you?"

He turned serious, "No. I will help you. But first, you need to tell me everything."

So I did.

I told him everything.

Eli was a great listener. He didn't interrupt. Not once.

When I was done, he looked at me admiringly, "You're such a strong girl. You've been through so much. Are you sure this is what you want? I know what it's like to lose someone you love but...are you sure?"

I nodded, "It's different, Eli...you need to know. Your family, they love you. They never wanted to leave you. That choice was made for them and that's terrible. But at least you know they love you. For me...it's not the same and that's what make this so hard to bare."

He only nodded, "Okay then. Tell me again what you want to forget?"

My heart started to beat faster. This is it. The moment has finally come. All the pain I've felt because of Dimitri, the nightmares I got almost every night since then... It could be all gone in a minute.

But then everything about Dimitri would be gone too. All the happy times we shared together. Dimitri...

"Rose?" Eli asked, his eyes seeking mine.

It's a while before I finally replied, "I...just tell me how this is going to work again."

Eli smiled, "You're having second thoughts..."

"No!" I shouted. "No, of course not. I'd rather remember nothing at all than live the rest of my life without him in pain. I just...I need to know the plan again."

He didn't question me this time, "Well, I make you forget whoever you want. Then you'll forget everything about that person. Everything he had said, done or even taught you will be gone -"

"Whoa! Wait a second." Everything he taught me? How could I have been so stupid? What about all the trainings I've had with him? Before Dimitri, I suck. I didn't even know how to kill a strigoi! Dimitri made me who I am. He made me the bad-ass Rose Hathaway. If that was all taken away from me then...would I die before going back to the academy? Strigoi attack?

"What's wrong?" Eli asked.

I shook my head, "Can you like...only take away certain parts of my memory of him?"

Eli stared at me, confused. "What do you mean exactly?"

I exhale, "I don't want to forget what he taught me...I'd be so helpless without them."

Eli thought about this for a second, "It's too tricky. I've never done that before and I'm afraid I'll mess up with the rest of your memory."

I told him it's fine. It's not his fault my life is such a huge mess. I guess I'll just have to head back to the academy as soon as it's done, get some training and then everything will be the same, I told myself.

"It's fine. Is it possible if I write you a script? What I want you to tell me afterwards so I won't be totally clueless?" I asked.

"That's a good idea." he said reassuringly. "Here's a pen and paper."

I muttered a thank you then began to write. After I'm done, I handed him the paper.

"And we'll say I was in an accident, right? Car crash? That will explain why I can't remember everything."

Eli nodded, "Yes. And I can make you believe you've been in a real accident while we were driving to my house."

"Okay..." I said. This is so weird. It felt as if I was about to tell the biggest lie of my life, which I supposed I was. "And tell me what I will feel like

afterwards?"

"You won't feel any different. You'll just go on with your life." Which sounded so long and endless. "So, will you go back to the academy, then?" he asked, reading the paper I gave him.

I nodded. "I will. I need to hurry back to get some training. I feel like it's a part of me and I just hate feeling – _being_ – helpless."

"That's what will happen then." he assured.

"I won't forget you, will I? Or any other person in my life?" I asked once more.

"No. Don't worry. You're not getting rid of me that easily." he grinned.

I smiled back, "Good. Make me forget Dimitri."

Then it's time.

Eli moved closer to me and then put his gentle hands on both sides of my temples.

"Rose? I want you to close your eyes and slowly go through all your memories. Picture them all in your head one by one. Can you do that?" he asked.

I nodded, closing my eyes.

His hands felt cool against my warm skin and I tried as hard as I could to concentrate on the moment and do as he said.

Pictures of me played in my head. The day I was born, my first birthday party, my very first day at St. Vlad's, meeting Lissa, running away from the academy, Lissa waking up screaming from her nightmares, someone chasing us, the alley behind the room we were staying in, meeting Dimitri for the very first time, him offering to train me so I won't get kicked out, our first training session, feeling like I was going to die from all the running he had me do, the first strigoi I killed, meeting Adrian for the first time at the ski lodge, all the perfumes he got me, the cabin, the strigoi attack on campus, that feeling like I was about to lose Dimitri forever when he said 'Buria,' Dimitri being taken away from me, tracking Dimitri down in Russia, when the strigoi Dimitri drank my blood, breaking Victor out of prison, the attack, Lissa staking Dimitri, that bright, white light that almost blinded me, Dimitri is Lissa's arms, tears, tears, nightmares, nightmares, more tears, the church, he said he no longer loves me, my heart broke, tears, more tears...

I realized I've been sobbing during the process, remembering all those memories. No, I have to focus, I told myself. Suddenly I feel light headed, a wave of calmness went through me and then everything was white. So white it hurt my eyes.

Then it's gone.

Eli told me to go through all my memories, picture them in my head. That's what I must do.

The day I was born, my first birthday party, my very first day at St. Vlad's, meeting Lissa, running away from the academy, Lissa waking up screaming from her nightmares, someone chasing us, the alley behind the room we were staying in...someone found us. It was Guardian Tanner and Guardian Alto. Mikhail and Stan. Not Dimitri.

Another wave of calmness went through me.

Of course it was Mikhail and Stan who found me. Dimitri, who? Dimitri? Dimitri...slowly that name began to fade away, sinking into somewhere deep down in the bottom of my mind where it could no longer be reached. Somewhere even I don't know...somewhere it could no longer hurt me...

Deeper.

Deeper.

Deeper.

...Dimitri...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

"Rose?"

My eyes popped open.

The world seemed different. It was as if I was looking at it for the first time.

Sunlight poured into the room from the huge, square window on my right.

A guy was sitting in front of me.

A guy.

Eli.

And he was staring at me like I was a freak.

"What? Why are you looking at me like that?" I asked.

Eli just stared at me for the next three minutes. Then he smiled.

"Welcome back, Snow White. Are you hungry?"

I scolded. "Do you have an ice-cream in your fridge?"

He grinned. "No, but we could go out and get

some."

I stood up, "Alright. Let's go. I need some sugar in my body."

"Hold on there, princess. I have something important to tell you first." he stopped me.

"What?"

He reached into his pocket and came out with a piece of paper.

"What?" I asked again.

"This is important. I need you to really pay attention, alright?" he held my gaze.

My hunger vanished.

"What's going on, Eli?"

"This is just to remind you. You may not remember every details right now but it's okay. Don't worry, okay?" he said, his voice soft.

I nodded. This is starting to freak me out a bit. I knew something wasn't right when I woke up.

Wait. Was I even asleep earlier? I didn't know.

"We've been in a car accident, Rose. I just brought you back from the hospital but you're fine. We are both fine. You might notice something wrong...feel a bit off. But everything is going to be okay." He said calmly.

I was not calmed.

"What? I've been in a car crash? But...that's not possible! I just got to Russia...I visited the Belikovs..." I trailed off. Suddenly not sure of anything anymore.

"What do you remember about the Belikovs, Rose?" he asked carefully. "Who do you remember?"

I thought about this for a moment. "Why are you asking me this? You know who the Belikovs are! Olena, Vika, Sonya, Karolina, Yeva, baby Paul and Zoya Belikov."

Eli nodded, he seemed to be impressed with my answer, "And who are they to you?"

I stare at him. "They're friends of mine. I knew them because Vika introduced them to me. What is this about?"

Eli nodded again. "And what can you tell me about Oksana and Mark?"

"They're also my friends." I answered impatiently. "They're spirit users."

"Okay." he replied. "So why were you here in Russia again?"

I swallowed. "I...I am not sure. I remember coming here and then the first thing I did was visit the Belikovs. Then I left and we met and you brought me here. Right? So when was the accident?"

"We were driving to my house. From the train station. You drove and you said you saw a deer, swerved into a tree and then we woke up in the hospital." Eli said.

Yeah, actually I may have a memory of the accident. I searched through my mind and there it was.

I was driving up the mountains, complaining to Eli how old the Jeep Cherokee was when a deer decided to jump in front of our car. I remember steering away from the poor creature and then the tree...

"Oh..." I whispered. "Are you hurt?"

He shook his head, "No, we're lucky. But you hit your head pretty hard though."

I closed my eyes. He was right. I did feel a bit off.

"But other than that everything is fine. Let's go get that ice cream." Eli suggested with a smile. "Oh wait. Before I forget." he pulled out that piece of paper and began reading, "There's a silver stake in your jacket. That is for killing strigois, by staking them in the heart. If you start to feeling nauseated, it means a strigoi is near. Also you and Lissa were in a fight before you left. Over a guy who wasn't even important. You guys should make up. You need to call your mom, tell her you're going back to the academy. Hurry back. You need to start training. And last, be happy."

I looked at him and then slowly reached inside my jacket. My fingers touched something cool. I pulled it out to find a silver stake.

"Oh..." I murmured.

Eli reached for my hand, "Let's go get you some ice cream."

And we went.

* * *

><p><strong>**Janine's POV**<strong>

I just got out of shower when I heard my phone ringing.

Wrapping myself with a towel, I dashed out of the bathroom.

Unknown Number.

"Hathaway."

"Mom?" said a voice of none other than my daughter.

"Rose!" I gasped. "What do you think you're doing running away like that? Where are you?"

I heard her sighed, "I know. I'm sorry mom. I was just visiting Viktoria in Russia. I'm fine."

Visiting Viktoria? "Viktoria Belikov?" I asked.

"Yes. But that's not the point. I'm calling to let you know...I'm coming back to the academy." she said.

Relief surged through me. "Thank god. When?"

"Tomorrow morning." she paused. "Mom...I...something happened."

My heart almost stopped. "What happened? Are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine. Mom, I don't want you to worry but I've been in a car accident –"

I wasn't listening to her. "A car accident? How – are you hurt?"

Rose sighed, "No, mom. Everything is okay now. I just wanted to let you know. I'm leaving tonight but I should arrive by tomorrow morning."

I was still worried. "Okay, Rose, just hurry back and be careful, okay?"

"I will. I have to go but I'll see you soon." then she hung up.

I gave myself two seconds to catch my breath and then I was dialing Abe's number.

I waited and waited and he did not pick up.

"Damn it!" I swore.

Maybe he was in a business meeting or...ah, I didn't really want to know.

So I left him a message, telling him to call me back ASAP.

I didn't think I could fall asleep that night, but knowing that I will see my daughter again in less than 24 hours, I found myself relaxed and finally drifting off to sleep.

* * *

><p><strong>**Rose's POV**<strong>

After I finished talking to my mom, I went back inside the ice-cream shop to find Eli. He's been trying to get me a last minute plane ticket while I was on the phone.

"Good news, Snow White. Because I am such a genius, I got you a ticket!" he smiled, "However, we have no airports in Bane. You have to take the train back to Baia and then, get on the plane."

I nodded. "Okay. What time is the flight?"

"10:50 pm."

I glanced at the clock on the wall. 7:15 pm.

"So it's a two-hour long train ride. I should get there around nine. No problem." I said, grinning.

Eli snorted, "Yeah right. Your train leaves at half pass seven. That gives you...fifteen minutes."

My eyes widened. "WHAT?"

And so we paid for our ice-cream and hurried back to Eli's place to get my bag.

Fifteen minutes. The clock is ticking.

As soon as we got to Eli's place, I hurried inside, grabbed my bag, took one last look at the beautiful scenery and headed back out.

Eli sped back down the mountains. The Jeep Cherokee was going at its full speed. We need to get to the train station.

7:21 pm.

There was no deer jumping out at us this time. Good for them. We wouldn't be able to stop in time.

And finally, at 7:25 pm, we made it to our destination.

"That..." I stared at him and shook my head. "You drove like a maniac."

"It's that... or you have to swim back to the States." he shrugged.

I laughed.

He smiled.

"So...I guess this is it then."

I frowned. "No, don't say that. This is not a goodbye. You'll definitely see me again."

"Maybe I just can't wait to get rid of you." Eli joked.

I punched him in the arm. "Sorry. You can't get rid of me now."

He gave me a real smile then, "Wouldn't want to."

Eli walked me to my waiting train. "If you need anything..."

"I'll call you. Don't worry about me, Eli." I told him.

"Number one on your speed dial." he winked.

"What?" I asked, confused.

"Your phone was on the table so...I figured you wouldn't mind." he grinned sheepishly.

I smacked him, "You should have known better than to touch a girl's phone, Eli."

He just laughed at me.

"And what did you do with the number before that?" I asked.

He laughed harder, "Oh, Adrian? He must be a cool dude to be number one on your speed dial."

I stared at him.

"Oh relax! I moved him to number two. He couldn't have been cooler than me, right?" Eli grinned mischievously.

I rolled my eyes. Guys.

7:29 pm.

"You gotta get going or you'll definitely be swimming back home." Eli said, giving me a big, bear hug.

I hugged him back. "Thank you again for everything. I'll be in touch."

"Anything for you, Snow White." he smiled. "Don't forget to call me as soon as you get to the airport."

I promised him I would and as I made my way to the train, I heard him muttered to himself. "Just like Irina..."

So_ that _was why he was so nice to me. I reminded him of his long lost sister. I felt bad for him, having no family left in this world. But at least now he has me. And I won't ever leave him.

At least not permanently.

I turned around and blew him a kiss before stepping into the train. Eli still had that smile on his face.

* * *

><p><strong>9:15pm.<strong>

I was so tired.

It was dark outside the train and I kept drifting in and out of sleep. I've been on the train for almost two hours now. We should arrive sometime soon.

The train ride was nice and smooth…_and_ luxury thanks to Eli who got me my own compartment. There were six seats in the compartment and there was only me inside. Not that I mind the privacy but it did get a little bit scary when you look out into the hallway and everything is in darkness. It's just so _quiet_. When I first got on there were only a few passengers, somewhere between ten and fifteen tired looking people, and now that most of them are asleep…I feel like I'm the only living soul on this train.

I shifted in my seat. Ugh, I shouldn't have eaten that cold cheese sandwich the train attendant offered me. Now my stomach is starting to churn like crazy.

"Damn you, cheese sandwich." I swore, clutching my stomach.

But it only seemed to get worse every minute. Toilet, I need to get to a toilet. I felt an overwhelming sense of nausea as I got up from my seat –

I stopped short, my breath caught in my throat.

Nausea.

Realization hit me and immediately I reached inside my jacket – the same time the door to my compartment flung open.

I gasped and realized that was a mistake. Strong arms were suddenly there, pinning me against the cold window and a pair of red-rimmed eyes stared straight into mine.

Strigoi.

"Well, well, well." The ugly creature snarled, revealing its sharp fangs, "Look who we have here! If it isn't the infamous Rose Hathaway."

* * *

><p><strong>OOOH! They found her! I am sorry for leaving it like that! But I had to! This chapter is getting too long! Hahaha ;) <strong>

**Hint hint, next chapter the certain Russian God will be looking for his Roza in Russia! Expect a lot more action and some heart wrenching scenes when he found out his Roza was - **

**Okay, you have to wait and find out! :) **

**I promise to update really soon this time!**

**Leave me a review and let me know what you think!**

**Xx **

**Prim. **


	7. Chapter 7: Search

******See I kept to my promise and updated really soon! :) Thank you for all the reviews from last chapter, guys! You all are amazing!**

**Well, I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Vampire Academy. Only the plots and some characters.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 7<strong>

**Search**

***Janine's POV***

It's 4a.m in the morning when Abe finally called me back. He has the _perfect _timing.

I groaned, picking up the phone, "Seriously, Ibrahim?"

He chuckled from the other end of the line, "Sorry to ruin your beauty sleep, my dear. I thought it must be important since I got out of my meeting and found _fourteen_ missed calls from you."

"Well it _is_ important." I said defensively. _Fourteen_ missed calls? He's got to be kidding. There was no way I would waste that much time trying to reach him.

"What is it, Janine?" he asked, concern creeping into his voice.

"Don't worry. It's good news." I assured, "Rose is coming back to the academy."

I heard him gasp in surprise. "That is very good news indeed."

I nodded to myself. "She said she should arrive some time this morning."

"That's good. As soon as she gets back you'd better call and let me know." He said, "I'd like to have some talk with my daughter."

I almost laughed at that. "You will have to get in line, Mazur. My daughter and I are going to have a long talk about her behavior."

* * *

><p><strong>*Dimitri's POV*<strong>

I woke up just five minutes before the plane landed. I still couldn't believe I fell asleep with all that was going on. I was excited and scared at the same time. In less than five minutes, my chance of find Roza would increase. We would be in the same country and I think I know very well where she might be.

It was a few minutes passed seven in the morning when the cab dropped me off in a familiar driveway. I stood still, taking in the scene of my house in front of me. It's been so long since I've been here. The last time was…was before I was turned. A horrible thought struck me. They didn't know! My family had no idea I was back. Since I was restored back to my dhampir state, things had been crazy. I felt like a terrible son for letting it slipped my mind. How could I have forgotten to call my family? I groaned. It was going to be a nightmare knocking on the front door. They would think I was still a strigoi, coming here to attack them. Oh God help me. Please let them believe my story.

Taking a deep breath, I hurried toward the house.

Please let them believe me, please, please. I raised my hand to knock but right before my knuckles made contact with the wooden door, it swung open.

My mother stood in the doorway, eyes widened.

"Mama –" I started to explain but she flung her arms around me.

"Dimka!" she started sobbing. "You're really here, my baby boy."

Soon, we seemed to have woken the rest of the house. Everybody was there, sobbing and exchanging hugs and kisses.

After the emotional part of the reunion was over, I spoke up, "How did you guys found out?"

And that was when something really unexpected happened.

Viktoria slapped me.

I blinked at her, "Oww, Vika! What was that for?"

My sister just glared at me, "How dare you do that to her! How could you hurt Roza like that, Dimitri?" she screamed.

Mama had to stepped in. "Viktoria, calm down."

"No, Mama! How can you defend him? You need to give him one of your long Mother and Son talks! He needs to learn to respect women!" she yelled.

I stared at my little sister in shock. "Roza was here?"

Viktoria ignored my question, "That is _so_ not the point! She was hurt, so hurt by you! And she told me what you said and done, Dimka! Why the hell would you do something like that?"

"Viktoria!" My mother scolded, "That's enough, Vika. I'll deal with him."

Vika looked as if she wanted to protest but Mama grabbed my hand and led us to the living room.

"Sit." She said, arms crossed. That was when I knew I was in a lot of trouble. Everything about the situation reminded me of when I was ten and I got into a fight with a bully at school. I broke his nose but he had given me a black eye in return.

"Mama —" I started.

"Do you know why we're having this conversation?" she asked, cutting me off.

I nodded solemnly. "I do, Mama. And I am not going to argue with you at all. I just need to ask you something first. It's really important…I need to know if Roza is here…"

She studied me before she replied, "I knew it. I knew what Roza said was not true. I'm not calling her a liar but I think _you _lied _to_ her."

I said nothing.

"Why, Dimka? Why would you tell her you don't love her anymore? And don't even think about lying to me. I know everything. How she brought you back from…" she shuddered but kept going, "What she did for you was…I can't even think of a word! She loved you so much! It pains me to see both of you like this! Why? Just tell me why you did it, Dimitri. Because I am your mother and I know. _I know_ there's no way you meant those horrible words you said."

I was speechless. I didn't know where to start.

Mama took my hands and looked my in the eyes, "I love you, Dimitri. You are my son. I know you are not that kind of guy. So tell me."

Before I knew all the words came rushing out of my mouth. It's been so long, oh so long since I've opened up to someone like this. "I don't deserve her, Mama. You don't know—" I gritted my teeth and squeezed my eyes shut, "What I did to her when I was a strigoi. It's terrible. It's unforgivable. She deserves better."

"I believe you have your reasons, boy. But that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard." said a new voice from behind, Yeva. "If two people love each other as much as you and Rose do then I don't see what the problem is."

I rose from the couch and gave Yeva a hug. "Hello, Babushka. I didn't see you earlier."

Yeva gave me a knowing smile. "Oh, but _I_ saw you, Dimitri."

I smiled. She was talking about her visions again. Then I turned back to my mother. "Mama, you haven't told me...was Roza here?"

She nodded, "She was…but she went over to catch up with Oksana and Mark since yesterday. She should be back today soon."

My breath caught and my heart sped up. I couldn't believe it. She was here. Roza was here…I would see her soon. After everything that has happened, it finally felt like things could be alright once again. At least after I tell her everything.

"Dimitri. You need to fix this, you know that right? Roza was…I've never seen her in that state before." Mama said, worry written all over her face.

"I do. I know that, Mama. I hate hurting her…" I sighed, suddenly feeling so tired.

"Then you go tell her everything, Dimitri. Because the only problem I see right now isn't Roza not forgiving you for what you've done to her when you weren't yourself…it's _you_. You are the one who has to forgive yourself. Because even she had." Babushka said, patting my back.

Of course Yeva was right. And Rose had written the exact same thing in her letter.

"That's why I'm here." I said.

So we waited for Roza to come back in the living room. Vika was finally talking to me again.

"How was she?" I asked her.

Vika sighed. "She was really bad, Dimka. I think she tried to be strong around us but it doesn't matter. I can see through it. I don't think she realized it but she screamed in her sleep the first few nights she was here. No one told her, of course. Rose would never admit it."

I closed my eyes, my hands balling into fists. Every second until I see my Roza again was torture.

"I guess after you were…_turned_…Roza thought she lost you forever." Vika said, looking out the window, "We all did. But she found a way to bring you back, Dimka! No one knew it was even possible! It gave her hope. The kind of hope you get when you thought all is lost... So I guess that was why it broke her completely when you rejected her. She probably thought nothing would come between you guys again."

I laughed a humorless laugh, "Who would have thought _I_ would be the one who messed things up, huh?"

Vika put her arms around my shoulders, "Hey, it's okay Dimka. You did what you thought was best for her at that time – even though it's totally stupid—_but_ you're here now to make things right. That's what matters." She grinned.

I couldn't help but smile back. I missed my little sister.

We waited for another ten minutes, my heart beating faster and faster with every single second that ticked by, before a knock came from the door.

I froze in my seat.

Roza was here.

Vika beat me to the door while I remained frozen in the living room.

The door opened and Oksana and Mark burst in.

I almost yelled in frustration…and disappointment.

Vika seemed to be feeling the same way, "What are you doing here?"

Oksana looked almost guilty.

I could finally move again and I stepped out to meet her.

Both Mark and Oksana's jaws hit the floor.

Oksana found her voice first, "Dimitri!" she gave me a polite hug, which I returned stiffly.

Mark smiled at me. "You're back."

I nodded, "I came to find Roza. I heard she was at your house?"

Oksana frowned, "No, that's why we're here—"

"Wait, what do you mean no? Where is she then?" I cut in.

Mama came out from the kitchen, worried lining her face.

"She left my house since yesterday! We…we got into an argument." Oksana explained. "That's why I'm here. I assumed she was tired so I came over to talk to her again today."

Vika slapped her forehead, groaning. But I was already running up the stairs to my room. The room Roza was supposed to be sleeping in.

I swung the door opened to find the room empty. All her stuffs were gone. But there was a note on my bed.

_Oksana,_

_I'm so sorry I left without goodbye. There's something important I need to do. Thank you for everything you've done for me. I will be in touch. Don't worry about me._

_Love,_

_Rose._

My heart broke into pieces and I crumpled the piece of paper and threw it to the other side of the room. My Roza was gone. _Again_. I was _this_ close to making things right. Why did things always seem to go wrong at the last second?

Five minutes later I was downstairs interrogating Oksana. "Where do you think she could have gone?" I asked.

Oksana rubbed her temple, "I really have no idea, Dimitri. If I knew, I'd tell you. I want to find her just as much as you do."

I let out a frustrating sigh, "What did you guys fight about then? Knowing that may give us a clue as to where she went."

Oksana hesitated a little before answering. "She was just upset about you. I tried to reassure her but I guess I wasn't helping."

There was something she wasn't telling me, I could tell. But I didn't have a time to dig it out of her just yet. Roza may still be in town. I had to hurry.

I stood up then.

"Where are you going?" Mama asked.

I put on my duster, "In town. I'm going to find her."

* * *

><p><strong>*Eli's POV*<strong>

I had been pacing around my living room for the last few hours. It was already noon of the next day and Rose still hadn't called.

I told her to call me as soon as her train arrived but it's been almost twenty four hours since then. No calls.

By this point she should have arrived back in the States already. Why wouldn't she call? She couldn't have forgotten _twice_. That's not like her.

Or maybe she was just in a rush to catch her plane it slipped her mind. Her phone's battery might have run out. There were so many possibilities…

Or she might have been attacked by the strigois…it _could_ happen – I squeezed my eyes shut. I was thinking too much. She probably just forgot. It's nothing to worry about.

But then why do I have such a bad feeling about this?

I needed to do something. I couldn't just sit – well _pace_ –around all day and do nothing. It was Rose we're talking about.

Then an idea hit me. It's stupid and reckless. And it could mess up all our plans. But I had no other choice. Rose's safety was my number one concern especially since I knew how defenseless she was against the strigois.

With that in mind, I knew exactly what I needed to do.

* * *

><p><strong>*Dimitri's POV*<strong>

I searched everywhere.

And by everywhere I meant _everywhere_. In an alley behind the coffee shop, public restrooms, gas station and even the small kindergarten nearby.

No sign of Roza.

I wanted to hit my head against the steering wheel as I drove home. Where else could she be?

Just then, my phone vibrated.

Caller ID: _Abe_.

I grunted. This was going to be messy.

"Belikov."

"Dimitri. I have some good news to share with you." Abe's voice replied.

Well I could almost imagine his anger after I told him _my_ bad news.

"Rose is on the plane back to the States. She should arrive soon."

I slammed the brake. "What? Are you sure? Because I've just spent the entire day looking for her."

Abe sighed. "Yes, I'm sure. Janine called me last night but well... I missed her calls. That's why I just found out Rose called her."

Relief surged through me. Even if that meant we were back to having thousand miles between us, at least I knew she was okay. Thank god.

"I can have the jet bring you back by tomorrow morning, if that's okay with you." Abe offered.

"Yes, tomorrow morning is fine. Thank you." I said, hanging up.

At least I will see her by tomorrow. Hopefully nothing would go wrong this time.

Relieved, I drove home to give my family the good news.

* * *

><p>I knew something wasn't right when I turned into our driveway and found a Jeep Cherokee parked there.<p>

I didn't think we know anyone who drove that car.

My Guardian instinct immediately kicked in. I got out of my car, silver stake in my hand and with my well-trained ninja stealth skill, I headed for the door.

The door wasn't locked so I slipped inside easily without being noticed.

I round the corner to the living room when I saw him.

A guy was sitting in on our couch.

If it wasn't for my sister, who sat next to the stranger, grinning up at him like a fool, I would have attacked him.

"Viktoria." I spoke up carefully from where I stood.

My sister's head snapped up at me. She smiled, "Dimka! This is Alek."

I nodded at the guy, making my way into the room. "Where's everyone else?"

"They went out to the grocery store. Should be back soon." She informed me.

This Alek guy wouldn't stop staring at me. "You must be Dimitri Belikov." He finally said.

I studied him closely. I didn't think I knew this guy. "That's right. Do we know each other?"

Alek muttered something to himself. "I shouldn't be here… but I don't have a choice." He looked up at me, "I'm worried about Rose."

Something inside me snapped. And that was when Alek fully got my attention. "You'd better explain yourself right now. How do you know Rose? And what do you mean you're worried about her?" I asked suspiciously.

Alek smirked and I suddenly felt the urge to beat the answers right out of him. "Oh no need to be jealous, dude. Rose and I are just friends. But I'm a little confused as to why you'd even care. She told me you broke her heart."

That did it, I moved across the room in a flash and soon we were standing nose-to-nose. "If you know what's best for you, you'd shut up and answer my questions." I growled.

Alek started to argue but Vika cut in. "Guys! Stop it!" she grabbed my arm, pulling me back, "Dimka. This isn't the time to fight! We need to find out about Rose! He might know something."

I stared at her, "Roza is safe. Abe just called me saying she was on the plane back to the academy."

Viktoria sighed in relief. "Thank god she's okay." She turned back to Alek then, "So you heard him. There's nothing to worry about. Roza is safe."

Alek shook his head, "I know that. I was the one who bought her the plane ticket. But that's not why I'm worried. I sent her off at the train station yesterday and told her to call me as soon as she got to the airport. She never called and I couldn't reach her. It's been almost twenty four hours."

The fact that he bought her the plane ticket kept replaying in my head. Why would he do that? Are they… I stopped myself. This wasn't the time for that. "She probably just forgot to call you." But even as I said those words, I was worried. Could something happen between the train station and the airport?

"I don't know…I just have a bad feeling about this." He said, which didn't help the situation at all.

I glanced at the clock. "Well, her plane should land by now. I should probably make some calls." I stood up and went to the kitchen, already dialing Abe.

"Yes, Belikov?" he answered on the third ring.

"Has Rose arrived yet?" I asked.

"I was just about to call and check on Janine. Hold for a second." There was a click and then his voice was replaced by a classic melody playing over and over.

After I had to listen to the same lullaby for fifty three times, Abe's voice was back. He sounded frantic. "I can't believe it!" I heard something being thrown across the room.

"Abe?" Now I was starting to worry.

He groaned, "Janine said Rose didn't show up at the airport. She has been waiting there for an hour. The last passenger from the flight already left."

Panic went through my body, "What could this mean?"

He groaned again, louder this time, "I don't know, Belikov. But I am going to find out." Then he hung up.

I made my way back to the living room, Vika and Alek looked up, their faces hopeful.

I shook my head, "She wasn't there with the rest of the passengers."

Alek stood up, "I knew it! I knew something wasn't right."

"But maybe she just didn't want to be found and snuck out the back exit before her mother found her?" Vika suggested.

"I don't think so. Rose called her mom she was coming back. It doesn't make any sense." I said. "Alek? Can you call and ask the airport if she even made it there in the first place?"

Alek nodded and got out his phone. It seemed like forever until someone picked up. "Hello. I'm sorry to disturb you but I need to ask if Rosemarie Hathaway ever checked in last night? She was supposed to be on the plane back heading to Montana." He explained. "Yes, thank you."

The silence seemed to stretch on forever as we waited.

"Yes, that's her." Alek said into the phone and waited. "Thank you very much." He hung up and sighed.

My heart dropped.

"She never checked in at the counter." He said, confirming my suspicion.

* * *

><p><strong>*Rose's POV*<strong>

I opened my eyes groggily, groaning. My head hurt like hell.

I wanted to rub my eyes but then I found out my hands were cuffed behind me. I was instantly alert.

I was in a small room with no windows or anything else for that matter. The walls must be originally white but now they were stained with some reddish brown splotches. Blood, I realized in horror.

There was only one door at the far end of the room and I doubt it would open even if I could get to it. There was no way to escape at all. None.

I was so screwed— the door swung open.

* * *

><p><strong>Dun daaaa! The door opened! Sorry to leave in like that! You will have to wait and find out next chapter! More surprises coming! At least you guys had some Dimitri scenes this Chapter. There's more to come don't you worry. :)<strong>

**Leave a review and let me know what you think! **

**Until next time!**

**xx Prim.**


	8. Chapter 8: Pain

**Hi guys! So I know it has been forever since I've last updated, like literally FOREVER. I am so sorry! Anyway, I started writing again today and finally finished with a fresh, new chapter for you all! Thank you for putting up with me and for reading this story. It means the world to me! **

**So, enough talking. I hope you enjoy!~ :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Vampire Academy, Richelle Mead does. I only own the plot and some characters. **

* * *

><p><strong><span>Chapter 8<span>**

**Pain**

****Rose's POV****

Shit.

The door to this hellhole swung open and two strigois walked in, their red eyes locked with mine and they smiled, showing off their sharp fangs.

"Look who we've got here." one snarled, "If it isn't the famous Rose Hathaway..."

"Why, are you afraid of me?" I asked, distracting them while I try with all my might to free myself from the handcuffs tying me to the damn pole.

"From the way I see it, _you_ are the one handcuffed." Another said thoughtfully. "So _you_ should be afraid."

"See that's exactly what I mean. Free me and then we can fight. There's two of you against me." I suggested. "Or are _you_ afraid?"

A hand shot out and slapped me across the face. "We are the ones in charge here so you'd better watch that mouth of yours."

The side of my face that was slapped stung, but I forced myself to laugh. "Go ahead then. Be a coward and kill me while I'm tied to a _fucking_ pole. That must make you feel so powerful"

The handcuffs behind me started to loosen. Bingo.

"Shut up and tell us what we want to know." the strigoi warned. "Or else no one is going to be able to save you from joining us."

With my fingers I tried to pry the metals apart. "And what is it you want to know? You can just ask nicely, you know."

The strigoi moved closer and was now staring me straight in the eyes. "Tell us where we can find Dimitri Belikov."

* * *

><p>Something about that name sent a jolt through my entire system. There is something about that name—Dimitri Belikov—that I can't quite explain. I feel as if I am having a flashback moment but instead of flashing back on a random moment in the past, the emotion I got was so strong that after the moment passed I was gasping for breath.<p>

Whoa. "What was that about?" I thought out loud.

The strigois stared at each other for a moment, confused. And in that exact moment my handcuffs broke apart, freeing my hands.

Instinctively, I shot up and bolted to the door. I almost yelled in relief when I found out it was unlocked. I swung the door shut and dashed out into the dimmed hallway.

"Get her!" I can hear them shouting from behind the door.

I didn't care I just kept running and running until a hand caught my wrist and yanked me back.

I whirled around just in time to catch a punch in my stomach.

I groaned. "You bastard."

Another strigoi caught up with us and suddenly I have the weirdest feeling of _de javu._ I feel as if I've been in the same situation before but in the memory, I was fighting the strigois—killing them. Instead of doing the same thing now, my whole body froze. My hands, that should have been throwing punches, froze. My legs, that never missed their target, stayed frozen on the ground. My head, that was usually coming up with different moves, was totally blank. And instead of dodging the blows of my opponents, I just stood there numbly.

_What are you doing?! Fight them! _A distant voice screamed at me.

But how?

_You know how. Think hard! It's in there. _

Not having other choices, I tried thinking. I really did try but despite all the effort, I couldn't come up with anything. And that made me even more frustrated.

Refusing to just stand there and do nothing, I started throwing kicks and punches in every direction, not really hitting any target.

The strigois looked at each other, their brows furrowed.

"You know, I've heard you were a much better fighter. You are ruining your own reputation." said one of them as the other advanced on me easily.

Before I know, my hands were up against my back, trapped. Shit.

"Tell us what we want to know." the strigoi snarled into my ears.

"I don't know what you are talking about, okay? Dimitri Belikov? Who is he? I've never heard of that name before in my life!"

Instead of letting me go, I received another hard punch in my stomach. I cried out. "Fuck you all!"

After that it was a blur. I remember catching a few more hits in the same sore spot and then when they knew I could no longer fight, I was dragged back into the room I first woke up in, my hands tied even more tightly.

Tears of frustration blurred my vision. _What_ was wrong with me? Why can't I fight? What was happening?

"Something about her is seriously messed up." I heard one of the strigois said. Then their footsteps came to a stop in front of me.

A hand grabbed my face roughly, jerking my chin up so we were staring at each other. "We are going to ask you one more time. _Where_ is Dimitri Belikov?"

_Dimitri Belikov_. What was it about that name, and why did hearing it bring so much happiness and sadness to me at once?

At the speed of light, a hand flew across my cheek, bringing me back into the room. "_Answer the question._"

I grounded my teeth together to keep from crying out. The spot where I've been slapped stung. "Fuck you. I have no clue what you are ranting about. Although I am curious, what makes you think I will tell you anything? Even if I have the answer, I'd die before helping you."

Being a smart-ass even in situations like this, yup, leave it to Rose Hathaway.

"Well, I guess she made her choice."

And then after that it was just too painful to remember. I had blood running from my nose and the corner of my mouth by the time it was over. My whole body hurt and I couldn't even lift my legs. There was going to be some ugly bruises later.

I was so angry I felt like I could breathe fire from my nose and burn down the whole town. But the anger was not directed to the strigois so much as it was to myself. And it was seriously the worse feeling in the world. I was a fighter, how could I let this happen to myself? Everything was so messed up. I didn't know what was wrong with me but it didn't matter. Even if I couldn't fight, I'd have to come up with some plans. No way in hell am I just going to sit there and let them use me as their punching bag. Screw them.

"I think you've had enough for today, hmm?" the strigoi said in my face. "But don't you worry, we will be back tomorrow. And if you refuse to cooperate again...let's just say there is going to bean _unpleasant_ surprise waiting for you." they laughed an ugly laugh and left the room.

I sighed in relief. I need to come up with an escape plan and I needed to do it fast. It must be fast and quiet. I couldn't risk getting caught since something was seriously wrong with me and I couldn't seem to be able to fight. I would deal with that later, once I got out of this hellhole.

I tried moving my hands like I did earlier, but I found out that it was no longer a crappy handcuff tying me to the pipe. It was a thick rope tied into some kind of knot that tightened every time I tried to pull my hands free. This is bad, I groaned out loud.

Across the room, the door seemed to be calling to me to escape. But somehow I doubted that after last time they would leave it unlocked again.

Exhausted after everything that had happened that day, I felt myself drifting off to sleep slowly. It's okay, I told myself. I needed sleep to regain my strength. It will be a short nap and then I'll try coming up with a new plan.

As soon as my eyes closed, my mind began wandering. A weird sensation swept over me and the next thing I knew I was crying, tears of happiness flowing from my closed eyes. A distant memory that seemed to be struggling to the top finally resurfaced.

Sometime, somewhere, I was surrounded by so much happiness and warmth that could only mean one thing: love.

The feeling was so strong it made my heart swelled. It surrounded me like an embrace against everything else that was going on in the world, and in that moment I felt whole...I felt loved.

But before I could figure out who was making me feel that way, the feeling started to fade away. _No..._

This time I could see my surroundings. I was standing in a sunflower meadow. The sun was shining brightly against the clear blue sky, making the yellow flowers appeared gold. Everything about the place was beautiful. _Too_ beautiful to be real.

I looked down at myself and found I was wearing a white sundress, the fabric moving softly with the wind. At first I thought this was just another dream, but then minutes later another form began materializing in front of me.

His brown hair, that seemed golden in the sunlight, was styled in a messy way as usual. His beautiful green eyes lit up the second they landed on me.

Adrian.

I felt like it's been eternity since I last saw him. And it probably was.

"Little dhampir." as soon as those words left his mouth, I felt like I was home.

"Adrian!" I grinned and threw myself at him.

He wrapped his arms around me.

"Long time no see." he murmured against my hair.

Everything about Adrian was familiar and it made me feel like I could finally relax again after a very long time. "I miss you."

I could feel his smile before he spoke up, "Ah, I hate to ruin this but I'm afraid we haven't got much time for a reunion."

It was like having cold water splashed in the face and everything slowly came rushing back to me. "Oh my god."

Adrian pulled back so he was looking at me straight in the eyes. "I just got a very worried call from your mother. Rose, tell me what happened. Where are you?"

It took me a moment to reply. "I was on my way to the airport—they came out of nowhere and now they got me locked up in this bloody room."

Adrian's eyes filled with worry. "Okay, slowly. Who are _they_?"

"A group of strigois I've never seen before."

He rubbed his eyes, he looked exhausted. "Okay, and do you have the slightest idea where you are?"

I searched my brain, trying to come up with anything that would help. "I remember hearing one of them said something about us being in the middle of a forest where no one would ever come and find us."

Adrian sighed.

"I know that is not very useful but that's all I have...I will try to find out though."

"I'm worried about you." he said, "Did they say what they want?"

That rang another bell. "They wanted information on someone whose name I've never heard of before in my life."

Adrian's grip tightened around her, "Did they hurt you?"

I swallowed, not wanting to lie to him but at the same time not wanting him to worry about something he couldn't help.

Adrian seemed to take my silence as a yes because his facial expression darkened.

"Adrian, don't worry about that, there's nothing you can do. Just... try to find out where I am and get me the hell out of here, okay?" I smiled weakly up at him.

He reached out and tugged a strand of hair behind my ear, "And you don't have to worry about that. I will not rest until I do."

We stayed like that, Adrian holding me, for what seems like forever. I didn't care what was going on with the world because right now with him, I didn't have to be strong. I could let my guards down and it seemed like so long ago since I last did that. But then he broke the peaceful silence.

"You said the strigois wanted information on someone?"

I let out a frustrated sigh, "Yeah and they wouldn't give it a rest until I tell them what they want to know."

"And you have no idea who this person is?"

I remembered how hearing the name sent a jolt of happiness and sadness through my entire system. I also remembered the weird dream, if it is even one, before Adrian visited me. Nothing was adding up. Then there was the problem that I couldn't seem to fight to save my own life. The strigoi was right, something about me is seriously messed up.

Instead of saying any of that, I just shook my head. "No, but maybe you do."

Adrian raised his eyebrow.

"Have you ever heard of the name Dimitri Belikov?"

I have never seen Adrian Ivashkov looked more shocked in my life. He was literally gaping at me, his mouth hanging open.

I was just about to start panicking when he blinked and then laughed.

"Wow, Rose. You really got me there." he said after a moment. "Leave it to you to joke in times like this."

Wait. What? I stared blankly at him.

"I am serious."

Adrian frowned. "So you're telling me you don't know who _Dimitri_ is."

Now I frowned. "No, why would I lie about something like this, Adrian? And what aren't you telling me? Am I _supposed_ to know this guy?"

Okay, so not only could I _not_ remember how to fight, now I couldn't even remember a friend? Was that what he was? A friend? If so, was the feeling I got from hearing his name just a coincidence?

Concern was written all over his face and pain filled his green eyes, "What happened to you, Rose?"

I swallowed, "I...Adrian if you know something you must tell me."

Adrian shook his head, "Now it all makes sense. It must be the same group of strigois who turned Belikov..." He muttered to himself.

What. The. Hell? "Adrian! Tell me!"

"Now we've finally got some leads." Adrian touched the side of my cheek softly before stepping away. "Don't worry, little dhampir, I will find you."

What?! "No! Wait—Adrian!" I started, but I could feel everything was already starting to fade away.

Then all that was left was his voice echoing in my ears, "The next time they ask, tell those monsters Dimitri Belikov is coming for them."

And everything went blank.

* * *

><p><strong>*Dimitri's POV*<strong>

I was on my fourth cup of coffee, going through everything I managed to find, when I got a phone call from none other than Adrian Ivashkov.

"Belikov." I answered.

A snort, "I know who you are. That's why I'm calling you."

I rolled my eyes, "How can I help you, Adrian?"

There was a pause before he spoke, "I talked to Rose." then he added, "I visited her in her dream."

Now he's got my attention.

"Is she okay?"

Eli, who was sitting on the couch opposite of me, looked up.

"No, Beilkov, she is not." then he dropped the bomb, "The strigois got her."

My breath caught in my throat and I froze in place, my hand curled into a fist, the other gripping the phone so tight I was afraid I'd crush it.

This _cannot_ be happening. _Please, no._

But there was no denying it and there was also no time to waste. With every minute that passed, time was running out for Roza and I just couldn't lose her. I just _couldn't._

Slowly I took a deep breath and turned on the speaker phone so Eli could hear. "You talked to her. What did she say? Did you find out about her location?"

I could hear the frustration in Adrian's voice when he spoke, "The only thing she knew was that she was in a forest somewhere."

I mentally groaned. "Okay, we need to figure out why they took her. There must be a reason because normally the strigois kill their victims instantly."

It took Adrian a few moments to reply and it seems that he was choosing his words carefully, "Rose said they asked about you." he paused. "And I've been thinking, what if these are the same group of strigois who turned you?"

Eli, who has begun pacing around the room, nodded. "That would explain their interests in you. I've heard they're pretty angry about you leaving them."

I stared at him, "And where have you heard this?"

Eli just shrugged, "I have sources everywhere and the last I've heard, they've put quite a bounty on your head."

Shivers went down my spine and I was terrified for my Adrian's theory was true, that Rose was captured by the same group of strigois who turned me, then we are dealing with deadly enemies. And if anything—_anything _at all happened to her, it would be on me.

I got out another cellphone, a disposable one, and dialed the only number programmed in there. "I'll get back to you later, Ivashkov. I've got some calls to make."

* * *

><p><strong>**Rose's POV**<strong>

They came back again that night—is it even nighttime? I have no idea, I've lost track of time since I was locked up in this hell hole.

"When are you guys going to realized that I have nothing to tell you?" I said sarcastically, "Hmm?"

Red, I think that was his name, hit me across the face with such force that knocked the air out of my lungs and then the bastard yanked me up by my hair. "When are _you_ going to realize that you aren't going anywhere until we get what we want, _hmm_?"

I forced out a laugh to hide my pain, "You know, you never told me why you want information on this Dimitri Belikov so bad. What did he do to you? Steal your girl?"

That only got me another blow, only this time I tasted blood in my mouth. "You think this is a game?! You will tell us what we want to know. I don't care what I have to do to you. You will tell me where I can find this traitor."

_Traitor_. Does this mean Dimitri Belikov was once with these strigois? If so then how could he possibly be my friend? Adrian was definitely hiding something huge from me. Before I could think too much about it, I felt pain like I've never felt before as sharp fangs pierced through the skin on my neck.

I bit back a scream. This was different than when Lissa drank from me. This was forced and it was painful as hell. I thrashed and kicked but I can only do so much with my hands tied. Finally Red pulled away, blood—_my_ blood—trickled from the corner of his mouth. He grinned.

Disgusted, I looked away.

"Well, I suppose you didn't enjoy that as much as I did. What a shame." Red smirked.

The other strigois seemed to be having difficulties controlling their bloodlust but Red held them back. "No, not yet. You can all have a bite later if she still refuses to cooperate."

"What do we do now? We are wasting time." one strigoi hissed. "Do you even have a plan?"

Red looked at him and then at me. Then he smiled, "Oh yes, I do have a plan. A brilliant one." Then he turned to another strigoi, he couldn't have been older than sixteen. "Roland, why don't you go get Nadhezda for me? Tell her we have a problem for her to fixed."

I didn't know if it was my imagination or if the other strigois actually flinched. Whoever this Nadhezda chick was, she sure made some reputation for herself.

I wasn't sure if I should be scared since I had no clue what was in store for me. Any rational person would probably be terrified, considered whoever this person was, she scared the bejesus out of the other strigois, who are normally famous for being fearless.

But then again, I reminded myself, I am Rose Hathaway.

I didn't have to wait in suspense for a very long time before the door opened again and Roland walked in. Two seconds later another figure came through and immediately her eyes landed on me.

The dimly-lit room made it impossible to tell what color her eyes are but even from afar, there was something about the girl squinting down at me that was so terrifyingly familiar it sent chills through my whole body.

For one moment there, I couldn't breath.

* * *

><p><strong>So, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and don't worry, Rose will only be helpless for so long, she is after all, Rose Hathaway. ;-) Leave a review and tell me what you think! Suggestions, anything! I love reading your comments.<strong>

** So until next time!**

**Have a nice day,**

**Prim.**


End file.
